Project Runway
Well, that was anti-climactic. I don’t think anyone watching this week’s finale is in any way surprised that Christian ran away with the title of America’s Next Great Fashion Designer. While I haven’t always been his biggest fan, there is absolutely no denying that he produced some stellar work this season, and that he is truly a talent who will go on to do amazing things in the industry.
In fact, a big round of congratulations go out to all the finalists, including Chris March and Sweet P. They might not have gotten to show their collections on the aired program, but they were live in the tents, so I don’t think either of them is too upset. I still think it’s a shame that Chris’ gorgeous Mona Lisa dress didn’t get the spotlight it should’ve, but I’m sure we’ll see his work in the future anyway. Jillian’s line, a marvelous collection of skirts, knits and her specialty tailored jackets, was gorgeous, and Rami far outdid anything he had created on the show. His two last evening gowns were absolute works of art, voluminous and tailored and loud and subtle all at the same time. He should be proud to tell the judges to cram their ‘you’re so one-note’ comments.
More awesome than the runway, however, was the cheeto-clad Victoria Beckham, who might not be my favorite person ever, but added FAR more to this final judging than her predecessors Debra Messing or Parker Posey (I’m leaving Fern Mallis out of this, on account of how she pretty much rocks!). As we all know, La Beckham (Victoria, not David) is a woman who knows her clothing and makes sure everyone else knows that she knows it… Actually, the same could be said about her husband, the Other La Beckham. Anyways, her Rain-Man level savant-ness was on full display here as she spoke authoritatively and impressively on the merits of each designer’s line, even going so far as to deem Christian’s collection (self-described as ‘fierce’) as ‘major’, easily the highest praise one could expect from her.
Congratulations, little Cockatiel. You really are pretty Major, even if I’ve hated admitting it all season. Now, please stop adding those ugly ruffles to every blouse you make and you’ll be good to go.
Make Me a Supermodel
Another week with all boys in the bottom three! It’s like my prayers are being answered! Keep rockin’, Shannon and Holly! And send Ben home, America!
So, this week it was Frankie who was told that America didn’t give a shit about him… Wait, sorry. He was told that ‘[we] can’t make [you] a supermodel’… But that’s just a potato/po-tah-to sitch, right?
The challenge this week wasn’t the usual photoshoot, but a live action shoot for a video look book. Heh, y’know, I swear, as someone who spent from the time I was 7 singing, acting, performing and training, it’s always hysterical to me to take a bunch of people off the street and say ‘now you’re gonna act!’ cuz it always turns out that they really can’t. Anyways, this was a particularly nasty challenge, as no one was guaranteed a spot in the shoot. The director basically put people together on spec and if a minimodel couldn’t hack it, they didn’t make it into the final project.
Once again, poor Casey was left in the dust as he didn’t get cast in the first scene, got booted from the second, and wasn’t even in the same neighborhood as being considered for the last. Holly and Shannon continued their challenge domination, receiving praise for the shoots they were cast in, Ronnie continued his upward mobility, making out with Ben in the process (for the shoot, not, like, for fun… cuz Ben’s totally straight and has a wife at home and just likes the attention he gets from Ronnie but he’s totally straight and has a wife at home and he’s SO not gay and I’m so sick of this stupid storyline!), and Ben continued his descent into hopefully getting his face punched in.
Jennifer Starr, who I find I both like and agree with a lot, showed up to drag the minimodels to Bloomingdale’s for a little ‘Brand Ambassador’ gig, which really just looked to me like a ‘floor salesman’ gig, but I’m not in the fashion industry so what do I know? They basically had to walk the floor of the store’s cafe, interrupting people trying to enjoy their brunches and selling what they were wearing. It was exactly as comfortable to watch as it sounds like it would be. Ben decided he was over this challenge, half-assed the meeting with the woman from Bloomie’s, then got pissy when he wasn’t cast and spent the rest of the day pouting and acting like a jerk of the highest order. Classy! Casey, on the other hand, rocked out with his cock out and earned, with Shannon, the highest praise from the Bloomingdale’s exec.
At panel, everyone had to rock not one, but two looks, and Holly (yay!) and Shannon (yay!) were announced as safe. After a pathetic meltdown from Ben where Tyson looked about half a second from letting loose some flying fists, Perry (boo!) was sent back to join the girls leaving Ronnie, Casey and The Jerk to face the vote.
Just get rid of Ben, America. And, panel? Leave Casey ALONE! Pick on Perry, for God’s sake!
American Idol
The Songs of the 80’s brought us a fair amount of duds from both boys and girls this week, but we got a Top 12 out of it anyway. The awesomeness of Jason Castro, David Cook and David Archuleta helped them claim their spots first, followed by Brooke White (whose Pat Benatar performance I still can’t get over), Ramiele Malubay (do NOT have another bad week like that again, girl!), and Syesha Mercado. David-the-Gay-Stripper Hernandez, Michael Johns and Chikeze were the other three boys to make the cut, meaning that Luke Menard was finally put out of my misery along with Danny Noriega, which I wasn’t expecting. And, judging from the way in which he was so obviously planning on breezily telling Simon to fuck himself on his way over to claim a stool, neither was he. It’s a terrible shame, as he really is a talented kid, but he wasn’t ever able to really spotlight that since it obviously was more important that we understand that he is the Gayest Boy On TV. Hopefully, though, Danny’ll learn to tone himself down and realize that there are other ways to be a positive, unashamed gay man without having to resort to a string of clichés and personality-sapping affectations that serve no purpose except to perpetuate the idea that we’re all cartoon-like stereotypical queens. Learn some self respect, Danny, and you’ll be all the better for it. I’ll like you more then, too.
On the girls side, last to join the lineup were Carly Smithson, Amanda Overmeyer and Final Remaining Generic Blone Kristy Lee Cook, sending home Asia’h Epperson, she of the Unnecessary Apostrophe And Totally Dead Dad, and Second-To-Last Generic Blonde Kady Malloy who petrified us all by doing that damned Britney voice anytime a camera was in her face. Asia’h fell victim to the Curse of Don’t Sing a Whitney Song Ever, which is a shame because you would really think, seven seasons in, these kids would know that you don’t sing that shit! If Whitney even breathed on the sheet music, you LEAVE IT ALONE! She did it better than you! You will sound like a second-rate amateur if you sing something she’s done! Just don’t do it! And, again, it’s too bad as she is obviously a very talented girl, and a better song choice could have kept her in contention. Kady, on the other hand, was more than deserving of her boot, having warbled her way through Queen’s Who Wants To Live Forever and possibly given my cat a mild stroke in the process. (Poor Nestle had to leave the room while she sang and was actually sent running by a particularly flat note.)
Next week sees the newly formed Top 12 take on the Lennon/McCartney songbook, so make sure not to miss it. There’s nothing like watching amateurs mangle some of the best songs of the last hundred years, right? And, I predict right now that one of them will sing Hey Jude (badly), David Archuleta won’t listen to Simon and do another ballad, thus officially making him the most boring contestant in the bunch, Amanda Overmeyer will sing the Joe Cocker version of ‘I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends’ and be very competent at it, Ramiele will continue to rock my world even if she’s only mediocre, and Kristy Lee Cook won’t have any idea what to do with herself.
Also, wishful thinking, I would LOVE to hear Brooke White do an acoustic rendition of the Across the Universe version of I Wanna Hold Your Hand.
America's Next Top Model
...will get updated in the next day or two. I was at an Eddie Izzard show Wednesday night and still haven't seen it yet.
Watch this space.
Showing posts with label America's Next Top Model. Show all posts
Showing posts with label America's Next Top Model. Show all posts
Friday, March 7, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
PAULINA! SHE’S ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE… OR AT THE END OF THE JUDGING TABLE
Who could tell back in the halcyon days of Adrienne, Elyse and Robyn that a stupid little show called America’s Next Top Model would have the staying power it has ended up having? From meager under-budgeted beginnings in New York City to a couple of seasons producing some real potential models to a bunch of crappy seasons in LA producing… Tootie… and now back to New York City again, ANTM has begun it’s 10th cycle, a milestone that few reality shows manage to reach.
Ten seasons in, it was obviously time for an overhaul to the show, of which the reintegration of ANTM into the New York scene was no small part. With Bravo’s ‘other model show’ currently taping here and consistently showing up Miss Banks’ production as the turd it really has become, it was time to bring some modelettes back to the Big Apple to see if they have what it takes (they don’t) to compete in the biggest proper fashion market in the country (they… really don’t). The other change to the show is the replacement of super-nice Twiggy with the deliciously biting Paulina Porizkova, who has enough shades of Janice Dickinson to make her just what the judging panel has been lacking since Cycle 5.
In the first season, before Tyrant’s ego had all but destroyed the credibility of ANTM, she acted as a bit of a mentor/den mother to the girls. Tyra Banks pre-‘Tyrant’ personality (think Jennifer Lopez, pre J.Lo) was a professional who had been through the industry, and was therefore someone who could intelligently – so to speak – teach the girls the ins and outs of modellizing and guide them on their way to following their (foolish) dreams. She was very hands on with the girls, to the point of appearing at and coaching the girls on their photoshoots and providing useful runway tips like ‘don’t put your hands all the way into your pockets’ (since it’s advice like this that lands girls the big jobs). As such, on the panel she needed a foil, someone who could give the girls the harsh criticism they needed to hear while still allowing herself to function as bigger sister/best friend (‘therapist’ came later, sometime after the Shake Ya Body fiasco in Cycle 2).
Enter Janice Dickinson, the ‘Original Supermodel’.
Janice made her mark almost immediately as the go-to judge for sound bites, bitchery, drunkenness, and all-around fabulousness. She compared girls to trannies, men, amputees, fatties, platypus..ssses, breast exam patients, and a litany of other non-modely character types, and did it with brio. She threw herself on Tyra (in hospital paper booties, no less) to demonstrate ‘passion’ to the modelettes, she air-flogged Nigel to prove… eh, what does it matter why? She air-flogged Nigel. The only problem there is lack of an actual whip. Point is, for the first four seasons of the show, Janice’s Insanity became one of the leading characters on the show, and her inability to stop herself from saying exactly what she was thinking eventually led to some of the most riveting TV one could find on a Tuesday night… and also some mighty hatred from Tyra and eventually a boot from the show.
Prior to Cycle 5, after some long-standing animosity between the Original Supermodel and the Bankable One over alleged behind-the-scenes goings-on, it was announced that Janice would not be returning. Tyra had begun moving the show to a more Cinderella rags-to-riches place and Janice’s attempts to comment on the girls’ actual potential as models (on a show about models… It’s insanity, right?) was not in line with the new turn the show was taking. The details of Janice’s departure seem even to this day to depend on which Ego you feel like siding with. Tyra says that Janice left willingly, Janice says that Tyra canned her. I’d be willing to bet it was more a meet-in-the-middle thing (“You don’t need to come back next season!” “Fine, I won’t!”), but the fact remains that Janice’s departure meant that a spot was open on the panel for someone who could fit Tyra’s more ‘wholesome, supportive’ image.
Enter Twiggy, the ‘Original Superwaif’.
Twiggy could have been a good addition to the judges’ table. She is a respected figure in the industry having essentially changed the face of 60’s fashion, she was able to parlay her modeling career into a respectable acting career in theatre and TV (a big thing with Tyra, despite her not actually wanting the modelettes to SAY they might have plans after this phase of their ‘careers’), and she seemed to be able to convey both pleasure and displeasure with the girls’ work without reducing them to tears.
The problem is that Twiggy was boring. More often than not, her critiques would be right on, but her attempts to sugar coat them began to serve as a reminder that we, the viewers, didn’t tune into the show to watch the girls be treated respectfully with kid gloves, we tuned in to watch them get torn to pieces and work their size zero asses off for a shred of validation, the way real models do. Additionally, Twiggy showed herself to be too nice to the other judges, allowing Tyra to overrule any opinion she might have had, negating her place on the panel entirely.
Five cycles later, after the 9th installment of the show, it was announced that Twiggy was leaving the show due to other commitments. The show was moving back to New York City, and it was now time to find a new panelist again.
Enter Paulina Porizkova, the ‘Actual Supermodel’.
Paulina Porizkova had openly derided ANTM for some while, basically calling Tyrant on her bullshit assertion that girls on this show have any kind of career opportunities after the fact. She made no bones about the fact that she didn’t believe that the show was in any way legitimate, and openly scolded Tyra for allowing these girls to think that they had prospects beyond being a reality-show contestant. And it was here that Ken Mok and the producers of ANTM finally began to take their heads out of their collective asses and do their jobs correctly. Rather than allow Tyrant to get in an off-screen bitch fight with this truth-screamer, instead they made sure to contact Ms. P as soon as she’d been booted (too soon) off of Dancing With the Stars and offered her a place on the judges panel, where she could conveniently air these issues right on camera!
In an even more genius move, Ms. P accepted the offer and made her ANTM debut in one of the most wonderfully-crafted segments of the show in seasons. Introduced as someone ‘from the industry’ who was there to give them an ‘honest assessment’ of their potential, Paulina strutted onto the screens to squeals of delight from the modelettes and, in short order, put a big kibosh on their joy and called out three girls as pizza-faced, tranny and manny. That sound you all might have heard at 8:21 Wednesday night? That was the sound of me giving my heart to Paulina Porizokva.
But she didn't stop there.
After being introduced as the newest judge for the season, she claimed her spot on the panel immediately, calling out several girls on their amateurish photos but managing to do two things in the process that her predecessors weren't able to manage. First, she was able to say 'you might want to try doing so-and-so differently so it doesn't happen again', and she was able to confidently and appropriately tell other members of the panel to take their own opinions and stuff them. When Nigel decided one girl 'looked too nervous', Ms. P snorted at him that 'she SHOULD be nervous for a few weeks', effectively cutting off at the knees his flawed reason for wanting to get rid of a potential modelette.
This is a woman who knows her business and will obviously not be cowed by anyone else's opinions of the girls, the show, or the host/producer. In fact, I am praying that we the viewers will be treated to a Paulina/Tyrant smackdown at some point in the competion, with Tyrant fighting for a contestant who can't model but would look great on her talk show, and Paulina backing a girl who might not be an exciting person, but 'shines in her pho-tos'. And, at the moment, I put money on Paulina.
With such a promising new judge, we can only hope that she brings back a little of the Janice Magic to a show that desperately needs it.
Ten seasons in, it was obviously time for an overhaul to the show, of which the reintegration of ANTM into the New York scene was no small part. With Bravo’s ‘other model show’ currently taping here and consistently showing up Miss Banks’ production as the turd it really has become, it was time to bring some modelettes back to the Big Apple to see if they have what it takes (they don’t) to compete in the biggest proper fashion market in the country (they… really don’t). The other change to the show is the replacement of super-nice Twiggy with the deliciously biting Paulina Porizkova, who has enough shades of Janice Dickinson to make her just what the judging panel has been lacking since Cycle 5.
In the first season, before Tyrant’s ego had all but destroyed the credibility of ANTM, she acted as a bit of a mentor/den mother to the girls. Tyra Banks pre-‘Tyrant’ personality (think Jennifer Lopez, pre J.Lo) was a professional who had been through the industry, and was therefore someone who could intelligently – so to speak – teach the girls the ins and outs of modellizing and guide them on their way to following their (foolish) dreams. She was very hands on with the girls, to the point of appearing at and coaching the girls on their photoshoots and providing useful runway tips like ‘don’t put your hands all the way into your pockets’ (since it’s advice like this that lands girls the big jobs). As such, on the panel she needed a foil, someone who could give the girls the harsh criticism they needed to hear while still allowing herself to function as bigger sister/best friend (‘therapist’ came later, sometime after the Shake Ya Body fiasco in Cycle 2).
Enter Janice Dickinson, the ‘Original Supermodel’.
Janice made her mark almost immediately as the go-to judge for sound bites, bitchery, drunkenness, and all-around fabulousness. She compared girls to trannies, men, amputees, fatties, platypus..ssses, breast exam patients, and a litany of other non-modely character types, and did it with brio. She threw herself on Tyra (in hospital paper booties, no less) to demonstrate ‘passion’ to the modelettes, she air-flogged Nigel to prove… eh, what does it matter why? She air-flogged Nigel. The only problem there is lack of an actual whip. Point is, for the first four seasons of the show, Janice’s Insanity became one of the leading characters on the show, and her inability to stop herself from saying exactly what she was thinking eventually led to some of the most riveting TV one could find on a Tuesday night… and also some mighty hatred from Tyra and eventually a boot from the show.
Prior to Cycle 5, after some long-standing animosity between the Original Supermodel and the Bankable One over alleged behind-the-scenes goings-on, it was announced that Janice would not be returning. Tyra had begun moving the show to a more Cinderella rags-to-riches place and Janice’s attempts to comment on the girls’ actual potential as models (on a show about models… It’s insanity, right?) was not in line with the new turn the show was taking. The details of Janice’s departure seem even to this day to depend on which Ego you feel like siding with. Tyra says that Janice left willingly, Janice says that Tyra canned her. I’d be willing to bet it was more a meet-in-the-middle thing (“You don’t need to come back next season!” “Fine, I won’t!”), but the fact remains that Janice’s departure meant that a spot was open on the panel for someone who could fit Tyra’s more ‘wholesome, supportive’ image.
Enter Twiggy, the ‘Original Superwaif’.
Twiggy could have been a good addition to the judges’ table. She is a respected figure in the industry having essentially changed the face of 60’s fashion, she was able to parlay her modeling career into a respectable acting career in theatre and TV (a big thing with Tyra, despite her not actually wanting the modelettes to SAY they might have plans after this phase of their ‘careers’), and she seemed to be able to convey both pleasure and displeasure with the girls’ work without reducing them to tears.
The problem is that Twiggy was boring. More often than not, her critiques would be right on, but her attempts to sugar coat them began to serve as a reminder that we, the viewers, didn’t tune into the show to watch the girls be treated respectfully with kid gloves, we tuned in to watch them get torn to pieces and work their size zero asses off for a shred of validation, the way real models do. Additionally, Twiggy showed herself to be too nice to the other judges, allowing Tyra to overrule any opinion she might have had, negating her place on the panel entirely.
Five cycles later, after the 9th installment of the show, it was announced that Twiggy was leaving the show due to other commitments. The show was moving back to New York City, and it was now time to find a new panelist again.
Enter Paulina Porizkova, the ‘Actual Supermodel’.
Paulina Porizkova had openly derided ANTM for some while, basically calling Tyrant on her bullshit assertion that girls on this show have any kind of career opportunities after the fact. She made no bones about the fact that she didn’t believe that the show was in any way legitimate, and openly scolded Tyra for allowing these girls to think that they had prospects beyond being a reality-show contestant. And it was here that Ken Mok and the producers of ANTM finally began to take their heads out of their collective asses and do their jobs correctly. Rather than allow Tyrant to get in an off-screen bitch fight with this truth-screamer, instead they made sure to contact Ms. P as soon as she’d been booted (too soon) off of Dancing With the Stars and offered her a place on the judges panel, where she could conveniently air these issues right on camera!
In an even more genius move, Ms. P accepted the offer and made her ANTM debut in one of the most wonderfully-crafted segments of the show in seasons. Introduced as someone ‘from the industry’ who was there to give them an ‘honest assessment’ of their potential, Paulina strutted onto the screens to squeals of delight from the modelettes and, in short order, put a big kibosh on their joy and called out three girls as pizza-faced, tranny and manny. That sound you all might have heard at 8:21 Wednesday night? That was the sound of me giving my heart to Paulina Porizokva.
But she didn't stop there.
After being introduced as the newest judge for the season, she claimed her spot on the panel immediately, calling out several girls on their amateurish photos but managing to do two things in the process that her predecessors weren't able to manage. First, she was able to say 'you might want to try doing so-and-so differently so it doesn't happen again', and she was able to confidently and appropriately tell other members of the panel to take their own opinions and stuff them. When Nigel decided one girl 'looked too nervous', Ms. P snorted at him that 'she SHOULD be nervous for a few weeks', effectively cutting off at the knees his flawed reason for wanting to get rid of a potential modelette.
This is a woman who knows her business and will obviously not be cowed by anyone else's opinions of the girls, the show, or the host/producer. In fact, I am praying that we the viewers will be treated to a Paulina/Tyrant smackdown at some point in the competion, with Tyrant fighting for a contestant who can't model but would look great on her talk show, and Paulina backing a girl who might not be an exciting person, but 'shines in her pho-tos'. And, at the moment, I put money on Paulina.
With such a promising new judge, we can only hope that she brings back a little of the Janice Magic to a show that desperately needs it.
REALITY WATCH - 3/3/08
Project Runway
Well, Rami is in and Chris is auf. Having seen the final collections thanks to the geniuses over at Blogging Project Runway, I’m still a little disappointed that Chris’ collection won’t be shown on TV. I think there are several pieces that probably would’ve gone over very well in the tents, and as a Chris fan, I would have liked to have seen how they were received, however Rami was the right choice overall. His work, while repetitive, has been mostly consistent throughout the season, and when he steps out of his draping comfort zone, he produces some quality work (note the Hershey's and Levi's challenges for examples). He came into the competition a frontrunner and has finally taken his rightful place in the finals. Oh, and he wasn’t, y’know, already eliminated. Giant congrats to Chris March for all his work this season, though. He gave us some lovely looks, and the best laughs of the season. I can only hope I see him marching down Fifth Ave in a giant costume next Pride so I can accost him like the fan I am.
Christian and Jillian, the two designers given the automatic go-ahead for Fashion Week, showed their collections to Tim Gunn (who still, four seasons in, needs to call me! We’ll do drinks, Tim!). Christian’s feather pants (no, really... Feather. Pants.) were deemed to be costumey, though Jillian’s coat, with inspiration taken from the final artwork challenge, seemed to fare better. More inspiring to me? Jillian’s daring over-fuzzy winter wool sweater/navy summer short-shorts combo. More terrifying to me? Jillian’s serial-killer serious assertion that she will succeed… OR ELSE!
Now, all that’s left to do is crown Christian the winner so I can start screaming about how Jillian was robbed, and the season will end exactly as it should.
Make Me a Supermodel
Is anyone here as convinced as I am that Casey is a total queer and just not saying it on television?
I have no proof of this, myself, and it’s not like it would matter if I did. But every episode of this show that I watch, I become more and more convinced of three things: Perry is more of an ass than will ever be shown on television, people are only keeping Ben around to find out if he’ll make out with Ronnie, and Casey is really quite queenly. Admittedly, just a TINY bit of this might be wishful thinking, since I find his sensitivity and drama-free attitude both refreshing for a reality show and entirely charming, and I think he’s a stunning young man. I just wish he’d realize that there’s better guys to play butt-boy for than Perry who, for yet another week, needs to get off my TV set.
This week, the minimodels took to the slopes to capture motion shots. Perry and Ronnie had to look fierce while skiing (which, YAY, Perry sucked at, though, BOO, he ended up taking a great shot), Holly and Ben had to snowboard while drinking champagne (which she rocked, as usual, while he could only copy Jack Nicholson’s Joker rictus), and Frankie, Casey and Shannon had to… run around and play in the snow (which only Shannon was able to do without looking like a useless waste of space, apparently).
I’m personally psyched that this week sees three of the dudes up for elimination. With the girls dropping like flies, Shannon and Holly had to rally, and did, the former even suffering through a week in the hospital but managing to turn up the heat when necessary. Thankfully, the judges have realized that Frankie and Ben are living out their usefulness and, with any luck, one of them won’t be sticking around any longer.
American Idol
Oh, America, how could you? You deny me Alexandréa Lushington (she of the Coolest Name Ever) and make me suffer through more Kady Malloy another week? I think I like you as much as I like the Brits right now.
So, 70’s week brought us more middling performances from both boys and girls, with the only real standout (in whatever way you take that) being the Imagine performance by David Archuleta. Don’t start sending me hate mail, but I didn’t like it. Yes, he’s cute (well, in that way that puppies or babies are cute... allegedly), and a good singer for a 17 year old, but he oversang the song. Imagine is a plaintive song, asking for something simple. It's one step away from being a prayer. David made it an exercise in vocal gymnastics, which is de rigeur for Idol contestants, sure, but the ability to maneuver around a melody does NOT a good performance make. This is a case of his ‘cuteness’ (which I’m not swayed by) making up for other shortcomings, like over-styling. But, the tween-girl Idol audience isn’t really known for paying attention to that stuff when there’s the much more pressing ‘he’s so adorablee’ to pay attention to.
Also, Generic Blonde Alaina Whitaker (who?) was eliminated, leaving us to wonder who all those other Generic Blondes actually are, and how many more of them we have to knock off before it's down to just Ramiele Malubay and Carly Smithson.
America’s Next Top Model
You guys? I think Kim is my hero. In, like, a fabulous Charlotte Perrelli way. In a manner more clueless than Cycle 2 Julie telling Tyrant she wanted to be a fashion merchandiser and not a mannequin, Kim of the Gemma-Ward-Smushface stood up at panel and told La Ty-Ty that modeling was a soulless and stupid endeavor and then walked out. Okay, it might’ve taken more to get there (including statements like 'I just think it's stupid to pay that much for clothes' and 'I just wanted to learn how to take better pictures', which very obviously nearly caused an explosion of the Tyra's Head variety), but that was the gist of it. Tyra tried her usual “You know that there were other girls who would have sold their illegitimate children to be here” guilt routine, but Kim was having none of it, smilingly telling the Bankable One to get bent.
In other news, after a ‘socially conscious’ homeless-themed photoshoot, some girl named Atalya was sent home to bask in her obsurity. I guess it’s good that I never really bothered to notice which one she was.
Also, I haven’t seen this anywhere else, so I thought I’d mention it here. Tyra Banks is holding out on us and I’m not sure why. This week, a representative from the Reciprocity Foundation (www.reciprocityfoundation.org – which does legitimately appear to do some good work) explained that three ‘homeless’ ‘young’ ‘women’ would join the modelettes for the shoot, eschewing their own usual street rags in favor of high-fashion looks while the modelettes themselves rocked out some fierce bag lady wear. While this seems like a cruel joke to pull on young women at such a low point in their lives, all was not as it appeared. What Tyrant didn’t tell us was that these young women weren’t, at that moment, either homeless or women. At least two of these ladies were transsexuals quite well-known on the Ballroom Circuit. Isis (the ‘girl’ who outshone Atalya in her shoot) is a member of the trannytastic House of Tsunami based in Philadelphia, while Anjelika, the first girl to introduce herself to the modelettes, is currently working her way up the drag pageant circuit here in NYC. Both of these girls were spotlighted for the MSNBC documentary ‘Born in the Wrong Body’ and have been written up several times in gay publications.
Now, while I have NO problem with their inclusion in this episode, doesn’t it seem odd that Tyra Banks, who seems to be completely unable to function unless she’s surrounded by the gayest gayness possible, wouldn’t either mention this as a way to fulfill her own per-episode queer quotient, or promote the LGBT side of this obviously do-gooder organization? The whole thing just sat sort of funky with me.
No more funky than anything else that happens on this show, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.
Also, Paulina Porizkova is the best thing to happen to ANTM since Janice. More on this later.
Well, Rami is in and Chris is auf. Having seen the final collections thanks to the geniuses over at Blogging Project Runway, I’m still a little disappointed that Chris’ collection won’t be shown on TV. I think there are several pieces that probably would’ve gone over very well in the tents, and as a Chris fan, I would have liked to have seen how they were received, however Rami was the right choice overall. His work, while repetitive, has been mostly consistent throughout the season, and when he steps out of his draping comfort zone, he produces some quality work (note the Hershey's and Levi's challenges for examples). He came into the competition a frontrunner and has finally taken his rightful place in the finals. Oh, and he wasn’t, y’know, already eliminated. Giant congrats to Chris March for all his work this season, though. He gave us some lovely looks, and the best laughs of the season. I can only hope I see him marching down Fifth Ave in a giant costume next Pride so I can accost him like the fan I am.
Christian and Jillian, the two designers given the automatic go-ahead for Fashion Week, showed their collections to Tim Gunn (who still, four seasons in, needs to call me! We’ll do drinks, Tim!). Christian’s feather pants (no, really... Feather. Pants.) were deemed to be costumey, though Jillian’s coat, with inspiration taken from the final artwork challenge, seemed to fare better. More inspiring to me? Jillian’s daring over-fuzzy winter wool sweater/navy summer short-shorts combo. More terrifying to me? Jillian’s serial-killer serious assertion that she will succeed… OR ELSE!
Now, all that’s left to do is crown Christian the winner so I can start screaming about how Jillian was robbed, and the season will end exactly as it should.
Make Me a Supermodel
Is anyone here as convinced as I am that Casey is a total queer and just not saying it on television?
I have no proof of this, myself, and it’s not like it would matter if I did. But every episode of this show that I watch, I become more and more convinced of three things: Perry is more of an ass than will ever be shown on television, people are only keeping Ben around to find out if he’ll make out with Ronnie, and Casey is really quite queenly. Admittedly, just a TINY bit of this might be wishful thinking, since I find his sensitivity and drama-free attitude both refreshing for a reality show and entirely charming, and I think he’s a stunning young man. I just wish he’d realize that there’s better guys to play butt-boy for than Perry who, for yet another week, needs to get off my TV set.
This week, the minimodels took to the slopes to capture motion shots. Perry and Ronnie had to look fierce while skiing (which, YAY, Perry sucked at, though, BOO, he ended up taking a great shot), Holly and Ben had to snowboard while drinking champagne (which she rocked, as usual, while he could only copy Jack Nicholson’s Joker rictus), and Frankie, Casey and Shannon had to… run around and play in the snow (which only Shannon was able to do without looking like a useless waste of space, apparently).
I’m personally psyched that this week sees three of the dudes up for elimination. With the girls dropping like flies, Shannon and Holly had to rally, and did, the former even suffering through a week in the hospital but managing to turn up the heat when necessary. Thankfully, the judges have realized that Frankie and Ben are living out their usefulness and, with any luck, one of them won’t be sticking around any longer.
American Idol
Oh, America, how could you? You deny me Alexandréa Lushington (she of the Coolest Name Ever) and make me suffer through more Kady Malloy another week? I think I like you as much as I like the Brits right now.
So, 70’s week brought us more middling performances from both boys and girls, with the only real standout (in whatever way you take that) being the Imagine performance by David Archuleta. Don’t start sending me hate mail, but I didn’t like it. Yes, he’s cute (well, in that way that puppies or babies are cute... allegedly), and a good singer for a 17 year old, but he oversang the song. Imagine is a plaintive song, asking for something simple. It's one step away from being a prayer. David made it an exercise in vocal gymnastics, which is de rigeur for Idol contestants, sure, but the ability to maneuver around a melody does NOT a good performance make. This is a case of his ‘cuteness’ (which I’m not swayed by) making up for other shortcomings, like over-styling. But, the tween-girl Idol audience isn’t really known for paying attention to that stuff when there’s the much more pressing ‘he’s so adorablee’ to pay attention to.
Also, Generic Blonde Alaina Whitaker (who?) was eliminated, leaving us to wonder who all those other Generic Blondes actually are, and how many more of them we have to knock off before it's down to just Ramiele Malubay and Carly Smithson.
America’s Next Top Model
You guys? I think Kim is my hero. In, like, a fabulous Charlotte Perrelli way. In a manner more clueless than Cycle 2 Julie telling Tyrant she wanted to be a fashion merchandiser and not a mannequin, Kim of the Gemma-Ward-Smushface stood up at panel and told La Ty-Ty that modeling was a soulless and stupid endeavor and then walked out. Okay, it might’ve taken more to get there (including statements like 'I just think it's stupid to pay that much for clothes' and 'I just wanted to learn how to take better pictures', which very obviously nearly caused an explosion of the Tyra's Head variety), but that was the gist of it. Tyra tried her usual “You know that there were other girls who would have sold their illegitimate children to be here” guilt routine, but Kim was having none of it, smilingly telling the Bankable One to get bent.
In other news, after a ‘socially conscious’ homeless-themed photoshoot, some girl named Atalya was sent home to bask in her obsurity. I guess it’s good that I never really bothered to notice which one she was.
Also, I haven’t seen this anywhere else, so I thought I’d mention it here. Tyra Banks is holding out on us and I’m not sure why. This week, a representative from the Reciprocity Foundation (www.reciprocityfoundation.org – which does legitimately appear to do some good work) explained that three ‘homeless’ ‘young’ ‘women’ would join the modelettes for the shoot, eschewing their own usual street rags in favor of high-fashion looks while the modelettes themselves rocked out some fierce bag lady wear. While this seems like a cruel joke to pull on young women at such a low point in their lives, all was not as it appeared. What Tyrant didn’t tell us was that these young women weren’t, at that moment, either homeless or women. At least two of these ladies were transsexuals quite well-known on the Ballroom Circuit. Isis (the ‘girl’ who outshone Atalya in her shoot) is a member of the trannytastic House of Tsunami based in Philadelphia, while Anjelika, the first girl to introduce herself to the modelettes, is currently working her way up the drag pageant circuit here in NYC. Both of these girls were spotlighted for the MSNBC documentary ‘Born in the Wrong Body’ and have been written up several times in gay publications.
Now, while I have NO problem with their inclusion in this episode, doesn’t it seem odd that Tyra Banks, who seems to be completely unable to function unless she’s surrounded by the gayest gayness possible, wouldn’t either mention this as a way to fulfill her own per-episode queer quotient, or promote the LGBT side of this obviously do-gooder organization? The whole thing just sat sort of funky with me.
No more funky than anything else that happens on this show, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.
Also, Paulina Porizkova is the best thing to happen to ANTM since Janice. More on this later.
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