REALITY WATCH - 3/3/08

Project Runway

Well, Rami is in and Chris is auf. Having seen the final collections thanks to the geniuses over at Blogging Project Runway, I’m still a little disappointed that Chris’ collection won’t be shown on TV. I think there are several pieces that probably would’ve gone over very well in the tents, and as a Chris fan, I would have liked to have seen how they were received, however Rami was the right choice overall. His work, while repetitive, has been mostly consistent throughout the season, and when he steps out of his draping comfort zone, he produces some quality work (note the Hershey's and Levi's challenges for examples). He came into the competition a frontrunner and has finally taken his rightful place in the finals. Oh, and he wasn’t, y’know, already eliminated. Giant congrats to Chris March for all his work this season, though. He gave us some lovely looks, and the best laughs of the season. I can only hope I see him marching down Fifth Ave in a giant costume next Pride so I can accost him like the fan I am.

Christian and Jillian, the two designers given the automatic go-ahead for Fashion Week, showed their collections to Tim Gunn (who still, four seasons in, needs to call me! We’ll do drinks, Tim!). Christian’s feather pants (no, really... Feather. Pants.) were deemed to be costumey, though Jillian’s coat, with inspiration taken from the final artwork challenge, seemed to fare better. More inspiring to me? Jillian’s daring over-fuzzy winter wool sweater/navy summer short-shorts combo. More terrifying to me? Jillian’s serial-killer serious assertion that she will succeed… OR ELSE!

Now, all that’s left to do is crown Christian the winner so I can start screaming about how Jillian was robbed, and the season will end exactly as it should.

Make Me a Supermodel

Is anyone here as convinced as I am that Casey is a total queer and just not saying it on television?

I have no proof of this, myself, and it’s not like it would matter if I did. But every episode of this show that I watch, I become more and more convinced of three things: Perry is more of an ass than will ever be shown on television, people are only keeping Ben around to find out if he’ll make out with Ronnie, and Casey is really quite queenly. Admittedly, just a TINY bit of this might be wishful thinking, since I find his sensitivity and drama-free attitude both refreshing for a reality show and entirely charming, and I think he’s a stunning young man. I just wish he’d realize that there’s better guys to play butt-boy for than Perry who, for yet another week, needs to get off my TV set.

This week, the minimodels took to the slopes to capture motion shots. Perry and Ronnie had to look fierce while skiing (which, YAY, Perry sucked at, though, BOO, he ended up taking a great shot), Holly and Ben had to snowboard while drinking champagne (which she rocked, as usual, while he could only copy Jack Nicholson’s Joker rictus), and Frankie, Casey and Shannon had to… run around and play in the snow (which only Shannon was able to do without looking like a useless waste of space, apparently).

I’m personally psyched that this week sees three of the dudes up for elimination. With the girls dropping like flies, Shannon and Holly had to rally, and did, the former even suffering through a week in the hospital but managing to turn up the heat when necessary. Thankfully, the judges have realized that Frankie and Ben are living out their usefulness and, with any luck, one of them won’t be sticking around any longer.

American Idol

Oh, America, how could you? You deny me Alexandréa Lushington (she of the Coolest Name Ever) and make me suffer through more Kady Malloy another week? I think I like you as much as I like the Brits right now.

So, 70’s week brought us more middling performances from both boys and girls, with the only real standout (in whatever way you take that) being the Imagine performance by David Archuleta. Don’t start sending me hate mail, but I didn’t like it. Yes, he’s cute (well, in that way that puppies or babies are cute... allegedly), and a good singer for a 17 year old, but he oversang the song. Imagine is a plaintive song, asking for something simple. It's one step away from being a prayer. David made it an exercise in vocal gymnastics, which is de rigeur for Idol contestants, sure, but the ability to maneuver around a melody does NOT a good performance make. This is a case of his ‘cuteness’ (which I’m not swayed by) making up for other shortcomings, like over-styling. But, the tween-girl Idol audience isn’t really known for paying attention to that stuff when there’s the much more pressing ‘he’s so adorablee’ to pay attention to.

Also, Generic Blonde Alaina Whitaker (who?) was eliminated, leaving us to wonder who all those other Generic Blondes actually are, and how many more of them we have to knock off before it's down to just Ramiele Malubay and Carly Smithson.

America’s Next Top Model

You guys? I think Kim is my hero. In, like, a fabulous Charlotte Perrelli way. In a manner more clueless than Cycle 2 Julie telling Tyrant she wanted to be a fashion merchandiser and not a mannequin, Kim of the Gemma-Ward-Smushface stood up at panel and told La Ty-Ty that modeling was a soulless and stupid endeavor and then walked out. Okay, it might’ve taken more to get there (including statements like 'I just think it's stupid to pay that much for clothes' and 'I just wanted to learn how to take better pictures', which very obviously nearly caused an explosion of the Tyra's Head variety), but that was the gist of it. Tyra tried her usual “You know that there were other girls who would have sold their illegitimate children to be here” guilt routine, but Kim was having none of it, smilingly telling the Bankable One to get bent.

In other news, after a ‘socially conscious’ homeless-themed photoshoot, some girl named Atalya was sent home to bask in her obsurity. I guess it’s good that I never really bothered to notice which one she was.

Also, I haven’t seen this anywhere else, so I thought I’d mention it here. Tyra Banks is holding out on us and I’m not sure why. This week, a representative from the Reciprocity Foundation (www.reciprocityfoundation.org – which does legitimately appear to do some good work) explained that three ‘homeless’ ‘young’ ‘women’ would join the modelettes for the shoot, eschewing their own usual street rags in favor of high-fashion looks while the modelettes themselves rocked out some fierce bag lady wear. While this seems like a cruel joke to pull on young women at such a low point in their lives, all was not as it appeared. What Tyrant didn’t tell us was that these young women weren’t, at that moment, either homeless or women. At least two of these ladies were transsexuals quite well-known on the Ballroom Circuit. Isis (the ‘girl’ who outshone Atalya in her shoot) is a member of the trannytastic House of Tsunami based in Philadelphia, while Anjelika, the first girl to introduce herself to the modelettes, is currently working her way up the drag pageant circuit here in NYC. Both of these girls were spotlighted for the MSNBC documentary ‘Born in the Wrong Body’ and have been written up several times in gay publications.

Now, while I have NO problem with their inclusion in this episode, doesn’t it seem odd that Tyra Banks, who seems to be completely unable to function unless she’s surrounded by the gayest gayness possible, wouldn’t either mention this as a way to fulfill her own per-episode queer quotient, or promote the LGBT side of this obviously do-gooder organization? The whole thing just sat sort of funky with me.

No more funky than anything else that happens on this show, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.

Also, Paulina Porizkova is the best thing to happen to ANTM since Janice. More on this later.