Congrats Charlotte, Congrats Fredrik & Bobby, and Congrats Sweden!
I'll be back later with a full report.
Monday, March 17, 2008
DIREKT TILL BELGRADE!
Or, 'See? I Was Wrong'
Congrats Charlotte, Congrats Fredrik & Bobby, and Congrats Sweden!
I'll be back later with a full report.
Congrats Charlotte, Congrats Fredrik & Bobby, and Congrats Sweden!
I'll be back later with a full report.
Monday, March 10, 2008
ROAD TO THE FINALS
Or, 'Once Again I'll Be Proven Wrong At Every Turn'
I predicted Velvet and Michael Michailoff would go through to Andra Chansen and Suzzie Tapper and Christer Sjögren would be out in Heat 1. I was wrong.
I predicted Carola & Andreas would walk to the Final with Sanna, Alexander Schöld would be in AC, and the horrid pizza song would come in last place in Heat 2. Wrong.
I predicted Patrik Isaksson would at least move on to AC and we'd never hear of Frida again in Heat 3. Wrong again.
I predicted that Calaisa would be out after the first round of votes and Daniel Mitsogiannis would move on in Heat 4. And... wrong.
I predicted, retroactively, after having been wrong already, that Carola & Andreas would backdoor it into the finals from AC and that Ola would take the other spot. Yeeaaah...
So.
Now that we've established that I have NO talent for handicapping this stuff, here's what I'm gonna do. I am NOT going to say that Charlotte Perrelli will win Melodifestivalen 2008. Because if I do, then there is obviously no way it will happen, and everyone reading this will hate me and stop coming to visit and I'll be left spilling my thoughts to an empty web page, and that's never any fun, is it?
Instead, I will say that it looks like it's going to be a close race *cough*forsecondplace*cough* between Linda Bengtzing and Sanna, with Sibel the surprising unexpected dark horse.
In all seriousness, putting aside the schlager brilliance of Hero and the general awesomeness that is Charlotte Perrelli, this is really quite an acceptable final. Overall, this year didn't have the strongest group of songs, but, with only a couple of exceptions, the ones that did make it to the Globen really are the best of the bunch -- even if I'll never stop screaming about how Velvet was robbed. I do think that the top four, in some configuration or another, will be Charlotte, Linda, Sanna and Sibel. I know the public adores BWO, and I was completely off-base with how I Love Europe was received (I still hate it, but that's neither here nor there), but I don't think they'll place in the top grouping.
Where Sanna is concerned, however, she's stuck in Split-Vote Hell with Sibel who's coming out fighting, so if she wants to place higher, she's going to have to give an absolutely flawless performance. That Is Where I'll Go took a lot of people by surprise, and in a head-to-head with Empty Room, it comes out the better song. Sanna is, well, Sanna, and she's gorgeous and magical and pretty and has a voice that can knock your teeth out, and I love her, so this really has nothing to do with her, but Empty Room is just not the best-written song, and that should be reflected in the jury side of the votes. She sells the hell out of it as a singer, and the public will obviously vote for her, but that's not enough at this point. Additionally, as I've said before (and I would be interested to know, in both Sibel's and Ola's cases, if this actually came into play at all), as an Idol contestant, Sibel has a whole fanbase who's used to the idea of 'Call and vote for Sibel' which means she too could do well in the televotes. That kind of conditioning certainly can't hurt.
And, sorry Sanna, but I'm not sure you can beat a chiffon train and a wind machine. There are rules here, y'know...
As for the bottom chunk of songs, those will most likely be Nordman, Rongedal and Frida & Headline... Probably in that order, too, now that I think about it. I'm not a Sjögren fan, but apparently Sweden is, so I'm guessing I Love You-rupp does far better than I'd personally want it to and comes out ahead of these three. I personally happen to like both I Lågornas Sken and Just a Minute quite a lot, but the competition they're up against is just too strong, and while Nordman seems to have more support than was expected, I don't think it will be enough to keep them from the bottom.
The one contestant I'm not sure about at all is Amy Diamond. I don't think she'll be in the top grouping because there are simply better songs in the final. I'm guessing she does well with the popular vote cuz she's Sweden's little darling, but I've never been overly impressed with her live singing, and she's up against the pros. Granted, she's only 15 and her voice hasn't fully developed yet, but you can't send someone to Eurovision just because they're cute... can you?
BWO comes into the competition with a lot of fan support, a solid song that would give Sweden a decent (though, probably not fantastic) placing in Belgrade, Martin riding up in the elevator during the key change, those collars... They're to Gay Drama what Char is to Tranny Drama, I guess. Regardless, this is a mid-placing song at best; no matter how many people might love Lay Your Love, they're the same people who're gonna be voting like crazy for Charlotte.
As for the frontrunners, I've discussed Sibel already, and I'll just add that she seems to be the breakout talent of this year which is gonna help her at this point. From blogs I've read, from the impressions I've gotten, from my own pre-contest standpoint, she was supposed to be one of the filler songs in the Linda/Char heat. And then she got on stage and proved exactly why she deserved to be there, and from her first performance in Karlskrona to her last one against Ola, she's only gotten better and better. I actually think that, as much as Sanna needs to be careful in the Battle of the Ballads, Amy Diamond might also need to worry about being replaced as the Voters' Darling of the competition.
Linda... Now, come on, next to Char, Linda's was the name on everyone's lips. And the added drama of putting them both in the same round as sort of a pre-Diva matchup was delicious on SVT's part. That act right there forced all their fans to rally, and they both had to deliver, which Linda did in spades. Hur Svårt is a fun song; it's quick, it's catchy, after three tries in the Contest she's finally managed to nail a key change, and her performance is infectious. It's fun, it's exciting, it's corny, it's obvious she's having a blast on that stage... That will count for a lot. Enough to beat out Char for the top spot? No, not likely. But could she beat her own record and sing her way to a completely respectable second place? Yes, she can.
And Charlotte... What needs to be said? Hero is pop brilliance; Kempedisco in the best possible way... It's slick, it's got a fantastic hook, Char gives you serious drama, and we all know how I feel about that microphone. That alone would be enough to get my vote (shut up, I'm easy sometimes!). The public is behind her, they love that Charlotte Is Back and all that hooplah... She's really the one to beat.
But she won't win. No sirree, she won't.
She won't win.
Tune in this weekend, to see once again that I'm wrong about everything.
I predicted Velvet and Michael Michailoff would go through to Andra Chansen and Suzzie Tapper and Christer Sjögren would be out in Heat 1. I was wrong.
I predicted Carola & Andreas would walk to the Final with Sanna, Alexander Schöld would be in AC, and the horrid pizza song would come in last place in Heat 2. Wrong.
I predicted Patrik Isaksson would at least move on to AC and we'd never hear of Frida again in Heat 3. Wrong again.
I predicted that Calaisa would be out after the first round of votes and Daniel Mitsogiannis would move on in Heat 4. And... wrong.
I predicted, retroactively, after having been wrong already, that Carola & Andreas would backdoor it into the finals from AC and that Ola would take the other spot. Yeeaaah...
So.
Now that we've established that I have NO talent for handicapping this stuff, here's what I'm gonna do. I am NOT going to say that Charlotte Perrelli will win Melodifestivalen 2008. Because if I do, then there is obviously no way it will happen, and everyone reading this will hate me and stop coming to visit and I'll be left spilling my thoughts to an empty web page, and that's never any fun, is it?
Instead, I will say that it looks like it's going to be a close race *cough*forsecondplace*cough* between Linda Bengtzing and Sanna, with Sibel the surprising unexpected dark horse.
In all seriousness, putting aside the schlager brilliance of Hero and the general awesomeness that is Charlotte Perrelli, this is really quite an acceptable final. Overall, this year didn't have the strongest group of songs, but, with only a couple of exceptions, the ones that did make it to the Globen really are the best of the bunch -- even if I'll never stop screaming about how Velvet was robbed. I do think that the top four, in some configuration or another, will be Charlotte, Linda, Sanna and Sibel. I know the public adores BWO, and I was completely off-base with how I Love Europe was received (I still hate it, but that's neither here nor there), but I don't think they'll place in the top grouping.
Where Sanna is concerned, however, she's stuck in Split-Vote Hell with Sibel who's coming out fighting, so if she wants to place higher, she's going to have to give an absolutely flawless performance. That Is Where I'll Go took a lot of people by surprise, and in a head-to-head with Empty Room, it comes out the better song. Sanna is, well, Sanna, and she's gorgeous and magical and pretty and has a voice that can knock your teeth out, and I love her, so this really has nothing to do with her, but Empty Room is just not the best-written song, and that should be reflected in the jury side of the votes. She sells the hell out of it as a singer, and the public will obviously vote for her, but that's not enough at this point. Additionally, as I've said before (and I would be interested to know, in both Sibel's and Ola's cases, if this actually came into play at all), as an Idol contestant, Sibel has a whole fanbase who's used to the idea of 'Call and vote for Sibel' which means she too could do well in the televotes. That kind of conditioning certainly can't hurt.
And, sorry Sanna, but I'm not sure you can beat a chiffon train and a wind machine. There are rules here, y'know...
As for the bottom chunk of songs, those will most likely be Nordman, Rongedal and Frida & Headline... Probably in that order, too, now that I think about it. I'm not a Sjögren fan, but apparently Sweden is, so I'm guessing I Love You-rupp does far better than I'd personally want it to and comes out ahead of these three. I personally happen to like both I Lågornas Sken and Just a Minute quite a lot, but the competition they're up against is just too strong, and while Nordman seems to have more support than was expected, I don't think it will be enough to keep them from the bottom.
The one contestant I'm not sure about at all is Amy Diamond. I don't think she'll be in the top grouping because there are simply better songs in the final. I'm guessing she does well with the popular vote cuz she's Sweden's little darling, but I've never been overly impressed with her live singing, and she's up against the pros. Granted, she's only 15 and her voice hasn't fully developed yet, but you can't send someone to Eurovision just because they're cute... can you?
BWO comes into the competition with a lot of fan support, a solid song that would give Sweden a decent (though, probably not fantastic) placing in Belgrade, Martin riding up in the elevator during the key change, those collars... They're to Gay Drama what Char is to Tranny Drama, I guess. Regardless, this is a mid-placing song at best; no matter how many people might love Lay Your Love, they're the same people who're gonna be voting like crazy for Charlotte.
As for the frontrunners, I've discussed Sibel already, and I'll just add that she seems to be the breakout talent of this year which is gonna help her at this point. From blogs I've read, from the impressions I've gotten, from my own pre-contest standpoint, she was supposed to be one of the filler songs in the Linda/Char heat. And then she got on stage and proved exactly why she deserved to be there, and from her first performance in Karlskrona to her last one against Ola, she's only gotten better and better. I actually think that, as much as Sanna needs to be careful in the Battle of the Ballads, Amy Diamond might also need to worry about being replaced as the Voters' Darling of the competition.
Linda... Now, come on, next to Char, Linda's was the name on everyone's lips. And the added drama of putting them both in the same round as sort of a pre-Diva matchup was delicious on SVT's part. That act right there forced all their fans to rally, and they both had to deliver, which Linda did in spades. Hur Svårt is a fun song; it's quick, it's catchy, after three tries in the Contest she's finally managed to nail a key change, and her performance is infectious. It's fun, it's exciting, it's corny, it's obvious she's having a blast on that stage... That will count for a lot. Enough to beat out Char for the top spot? No, not likely. But could she beat her own record and sing her way to a completely respectable second place? Yes, she can.
And Charlotte... What needs to be said? Hero is pop brilliance; Kempedisco in the best possible way... It's slick, it's got a fantastic hook, Char gives you serious drama, and we all know how I feel about that microphone. That alone would be enough to get my vote (shut up, I'm easy sometimes!). The public is behind her, they love that Charlotte Is Back and all that hooplah... She's really the one to beat.
But she won't win. No sirree, she won't.
She won't win.
Tune in this weekend, to see once again that I'm wrong about everything.
THEY SAID IT ON THE AIR, ON THE RADIO
Just a quick update cuz I know people are all but jumping out of their skin for the studio versions of all this year's MF songs...
Rix FM seems to be working most of them into their playlist as of today (I've already heard Sibel, Char, Christer and Ola).
It's not the same as owning them and being able to obsessively play them over and over, but it's a start.
:-)
Rix FM seems to be working most of them into their playlist as of today (I've already heard Sibel, Char, Christer and Ola).
It's not the same as owning them and being able to obsessively play them over and over, but it's a start.
:-)
Saturday, March 8, 2008
JOHNSON & HAGGKVIST IN SCHLAGER SHOCKER!!!
Or, 'Androla in Schlocker'
Or, 'Sweden Says 'Hell No, Andro!''
Anyways. So, Andra Chansen... And WHAT a show it was! Shocking eliminations, musical Luuk, food fights! I was NOT disappointed.
*gulp*
...Even in Suzzie Tapper, and anyone who's read my blog thus far should realize that that is a BIG statement for me to be making right now.
So, for me, the biggest surprise of the night was not, in fact, Carola and Andreas not moving to the Finalen. It was pretty evident after their dismally boring performance that their run would be ending for this year. Obviously someone from Team Nordman had slipped a roofie in Ms. Haggkvist's holy water or whatever she drinks to make certain that her energy was way down tonight. It's the only way to explain why their number started to look like Weekend at Bernie's: The Musical!
No, the real shocker was when the camera panned back at the beginning of the song to show that someone had decided to hurl a lemon meringue pie at Carola before she went on stage! Which she was obviously too stoned to notice! Travesty!
Poor dear. Roofies and pie... She just couldn't win tonight, could shhh-- Oops. I guess she couldn't.
I must say, though, I'm really happy to see Sibel make it through. I didn't see that one coming at all. It was no surprise that she ended up against Ola, but I honestly thought it was going to go his way. It would seem that the Swedes were paying attention and cast their votes based on talent rather than boyish good looks, and good for Sweden. And good for Sibel! She really did deliver. Now, I love the song anyway. It has this Disney Princess vibe that I don't find much wrong with, but I thought her final performance, directly against Ola, was the strongest she's given so far, and if she could repeat that in Stockholm next week, she may be in line for a decent placing.
On a side note, is it just me or does it seem like Love In Stereo goes on forever? I really think the beginning of the song is catchy (if a little derivative of all of Ola's previous singles), but both times he performed, by the time he hit the bridge I felt like I was sitting through a concert version of 99 Bottles of Beer. "Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA"
GAH!
But, great job and lots of luck to Sibel.
In the second match-ups, where all the drama took place, I also feel mostly content. Sure, I would've enjoyed seeing Carola complete the Ultimate Schlager Diva lineup, but I was horrified by their performance, so I'm glad I don't have to sit through it again. Though, in some ways, I sort of feel bad for each of them. Carola... It was obvious that she REALLY wanted to just break out and go wild and let the song move her like she did the first time out, but she'd gotten so much heat for oversinging it (which I didn't actually mind; I thought it added to the anthemic...ness of the song) that I could visibly see her holding back, to the point where I was uncomfortable watching her. She seemed like she was half singing the song, half thinking 'step, step, not too much, sing, sing, don't jump like that!' etc, etc. As for Andreas, I've admittedly never been his hugest fan, but he is a decent singer, he seems like a genuinely nice guy, and he was really looking forward to working with Carola because he thought with her he stood some kind of chance in the competition. And... it was just not to be. His guitars hurt her and her unrelenting ego hurt him.
Well, let's hope they both return at some point down the line... solo.
Side note, to Andreas, should he ever, y'know, pop by to see what I have to say... Umm, hon? Yeah. Please stop licking Carola's neck on TV. It's... really kinda narsty. And sinful. You'll go to Hell. Ask her, she'll tell you.
Moving on.
I'm a little bummed that Therese didn't make it through. She was never a threat for the win, but I think she's a good performer and I LOVE When You Need Me, and it would have been nice to see her in the Finalen. But, guys? It's official. I know there are people who can't stand it, but I think Nordman's song is just fantastic. There it is.
I. Love. It.
I love the performance, I love the dancer chick, I love just coming out of the first chorus when she walks up to him and he starts singing and turns his back on her in character, I love her dancing in the flame, I LOVE the 'whoa-oh!'s, I love how his voice fits the song... I'm a fan. I certainly wasn't expecting to have this reaction after the first listen. I even said, like, 'witch trials? Really?' But every time I hear it, the song wins me over more and more.
Congrats to Nordman for making it through to the Finalen. They won't win, but that's fine.
So, the final lineup for next week is set, and it's a really good one. Amy, Christer, Sanna, Rongedal, BWO, Frida & Headline, Linda, Char, Sibel & Nordman... With the exception of Frida & Headline (whom my spellcheck keeps trying to rename 'Friday'), all could be strong contenders. And, while I know popular opinion is that Char is going to steal the whole thing, it'll still be a whole lot of fun watching her get there.
Or, 'Sweden Says 'Hell No, Andro!''
Anyways. So, Andra Chansen... And WHAT a show it was! Shocking eliminations, musical Luuk, food fights! I was NOT disappointed.
*gulp*
...Even in Suzzie Tapper, and anyone who's read my blog thus far should realize that that is a BIG statement for me to be making right now.
So, for me, the biggest surprise of the night was not, in fact, Carola and Andreas not moving to the Finalen. It was pretty evident after their dismally boring performance that their run would be ending for this year. Obviously someone from Team Nordman had slipped a roofie in Ms. Haggkvist's holy water or whatever she drinks to make certain that her energy was way down tonight. It's the only way to explain why their number started to look like Weekend at Bernie's: The Musical!
No, the real shocker was when the camera panned back at the beginning of the song to show that someone had decided to hurl a lemon meringue pie at Carola before she went on stage! Which she was obviously too stoned to notice! Travesty!
Poor dear. Roofies and pie... She just couldn't win tonight, could shhh-- Oops. I guess she couldn't.
I must say, though, I'm really happy to see Sibel make it through. I didn't see that one coming at all. It was no surprise that she ended up against Ola, but I honestly thought it was going to go his way. It would seem that the Swedes were paying attention and cast their votes based on talent rather than boyish good looks, and good for Sweden. And good for Sibel! She really did deliver. Now, I love the song anyway. It has this Disney Princess vibe that I don't find much wrong with, but I thought her final performance, directly against Ola, was the strongest she's given so far, and if she could repeat that in Stockholm next week, she may be in line for a decent placing.
On a side note, is it just me or does it seem like Love In Stereo goes on forever? I really think the beginning of the song is catchy (if a little derivative of all of Ola's previous singles), but both times he performed, by the time he hit the bridge I felt like I was sitting through a concert version of 99 Bottles of Beer. "Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA Give me love in stereo whoa-whoa-woo-WHOA"
GAH!
But, great job and lots of luck to Sibel.
In the second match-ups, where all the drama took place, I also feel mostly content. Sure, I would've enjoyed seeing Carola complete the Ultimate Schlager Diva lineup, but I was horrified by their performance, so I'm glad I don't have to sit through it again. Though, in some ways, I sort of feel bad for each of them. Carola... It was obvious that she REALLY wanted to just break out and go wild and let the song move her like she did the first time out, but she'd gotten so much heat for oversinging it (which I didn't actually mind; I thought it added to the anthemic...ness of the song) that I could visibly see her holding back, to the point where I was uncomfortable watching her. She seemed like she was half singing the song, half thinking 'step, step, not too much, sing, sing, don't jump like that!' etc, etc. As for Andreas, I've admittedly never been his hugest fan, but he is a decent singer, he seems like a genuinely nice guy, and he was really looking forward to working with Carola because he thought with her he stood some kind of chance in the competition. And... it was just not to be. His guitars hurt her and her unrelenting ego hurt him.
Well, let's hope they both return at some point down the line... solo.
Side note, to Andreas, should he ever, y'know, pop by to see what I have to say... Umm, hon? Yeah. Please stop licking Carola's neck on TV. It's... really kinda narsty. And sinful. You'll go to Hell. Ask her, she'll tell you.
Moving on.
I'm a little bummed that Therese didn't make it through. She was never a threat for the win, but I think she's a good performer and I LOVE When You Need Me, and it would have been nice to see her in the Finalen. But, guys? It's official. I know there are people who can't stand it, but I think Nordman's song is just fantastic. There it is.
I. Love. It.
I love the performance, I love the dancer chick, I love just coming out of the first chorus when she walks up to him and he starts singing and turns his back on her in character, I love her dancing in the flame, I LOVE the 'whoa-oh!'s, I love how his voice fits the song... I'm a fan. I certainly wasn't expecting to have this reaction after the first listen. I even said, like, 'witch trials? Really?' But every time I hear it, the song wins me over more and more.
Congrats to Nordman for making it through to the Finalen. They won't win, but that's fine.
So, the final lineup for next week is set, and it's a really good one. Amy, Christer, Sanna, Rongedal, BWO, Frida & Headline, Linda, Char, Sibel & Nordman... With the exception of Frida & Headline (whom my spellcheck keeps trying to rename 'Friday'), all could be strong contenders. And, while I know popular opinion is that Char is going to steal the whole thing, it'll still be a whole lot of fun watching her get there.
Friday, March 7, 2008
FROM THE NICKEL AND DIME TO THE SIMPLY SUBLIME
Or, 'The Greatest American Singer You've Never Heard Of'
In my SDF-Sings-Jekyll post, I posted a video of the English version of the song Someone Like You as performed by Linda Eder, and decided it was time to devote a post entirely to her, since she has never gotten the recognition that an artist of her quality deserves.
Linda Eder has been a fixture in the entertainment industry for more than 20 years now. In that time, she has released nine studio albums and a Greatest Hits, and appeared on a number of theatrical concept albums. She has starred on Broadway, performed at most major concert venues in the country including several multi-night, sell-out bookings at Carnegie Hall, and sung with symphonies from one coast to the other. She was the first and only contestant in any incarnation of American Star Search to win her category 13 consecutive times, a record that will likely never be repeated on a musical competition show ever again. She has had television specials, shared the stage with some of the greatest singers, musicians and artists in the business…
…and unless you’re a theatre fan (or a Jewish Grandmother from Long Island who loves PBS specials), you likely don’t even know who she is.
Born in Tuscon, AZ and raised in Brainerd, MN (where the awesome Fargo movie took place), Linda’s first true national exposure came on Star Search in the 1980’s, where she attracted the attention of (at the time) up-and-coming composer Frank Wildhorn (Jekyll & Hyde, The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Civil War and Camille Claudel). Wildhorn was then casting for an early workshop version of Jekyll & Hyde and he was determined that Linda be a part of it. At the same time, he began championing the young singer's recording career and the two began a professional partnership that eventually led to marriage, and a dearth of roles and songs being written especially for her.
Linda’s first five studio albums feature numerous Wildhorn compositions in styles ranging from pop to showtunes to modern day jazz standards, and she has performed leads in development and workshop versions of four of his musicals: Jekyll & Hyde and The Scarlet Pimpernel, on whose concept album recordings she appears, and Camille Claudel and Havana, both of which got stuck in Development Hell and will likely never be heard about again. And, while her acting was never as praised as her vocal ability, her performance as Lucy in the Original Broadway Cast of Jekyll earned her the Theatre World Award for Best Broadway Debut as well as the Drama Desk and Outer Critics’ Circle Award Nominations for Best Actress in a Musical, no small shakes for a theatrical newcomer. Especially one whose strength, like I said before, did not lie in her acting.
Citing her greatest inspirations to be Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand and opera great Eileen Farrell, Linda Eder is not a ‘contemporary’ singer in terms of what we consider ‘current radio music’. Indeed, Linda defies any musical boundaries. She is equally at home singing pop, country, American standards, blues, theatre music, epic balladry, and jazz. While her music isn’t as poppy as what I'd usually post, she has the amazing ability to make everything she sings sound utterly timeless, she commands legions of gay followers, and the woman can work a key change like nobody's business.
So, to this end, today's megapost is in honor of the terrific Linda Eder. I genuinely hope everyone likes what's on offer here. If you do, please go find her CDs, or go see her live. You won't end up disappointed.
Videos --
Through The Eyes Of Love
From her Star Search days. The hair is 80's-tastic, the 'diamond' earrings are blinding, the smile is cheesy, the voice is gorgeous... I'm telling you, it's a schlager performance!
Man of La Mancha
Introduced on her It's Time album and the subsequent 'Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda' segment of her following concert tour (where she sang songs from roles she 'shoulda played, woulda played, and coulda played'), this now probably rates right behind Vienna as the biggest fan favorite. She never made any bones about the fact that it was a man's song and she didn't care. And check out the high note in the bridge!
Bring On the Men
Cut from Jekyll & Hyde sometime between the first concept recording and the Broadway opening and replaced with the far inferior Good and Evil, this is "a joyous explosion of uptempo and lyrical bawdiness" (Sorry, I just wanted to use Carola's words in reference to something ungodly) that Linda trots out at every concert so we don't forget that it was, in fact, one of the best songs from that score.
Home Again
Normally I'm not big on these fan videos, but this is another one of my favorite songs, and I felt it needed to be included here. Just ignore the little anime people and enjoy this piece, unjustly cut from The Scarlet Pimpernel before its move to the stage.
Don't Rain on My Parade
Comparisons to Barbra Streisand are inevitable here, but even the Overdone One herself has given enthusiastic thumbs up to Linda's cover.
Audio --
Someone Like You
This Act 1 closer was the first song written specifically for Linda to sing in Jekyll & Hyde. This would be the full version of the SDF song I posted earlier in the week.
Vienna
Aside from Someone Like You, this would be considered by any fan to be Linda’s signature song. This is six and a half minutes of the most amazing balladry you will ever hear! The orchestration are gorgeous, her singing is enough to give you chills, and there’s even a big ol’ key change! In fact, the last time I saw her perform live, she ended her program without singing this song and when she came back out to do her encore (which was NOT going to be this song), the audience wouldn’t let her leave the stage until she did. Make no mistake, if you like boffo-socko emotional power ballads, you need look no further for the best one around.
Something To Believe In (Fitch Brothers Radio Edit)
For my uptempo lovers, I give you this little treat. In its original form, this was one of those big orchestrated gospel choir numbers. Here, it's been given a facelift and turned into a fun, dancey track. As a useless side note, the WB used to use this for their network bumpers back in the day. They'd play it under station commercials featuring the stars of Buffy, Dawson, Gilmore Girls and the like. No reason you needed to know that, I just thought I'd point it out.
I Want More
I can't introduce this song any better than she always does, so here. This is what she says. "It's an anthem for ALL the women out there! And maybe a few *corny wink* men, too..." Dare you to listen to this and not think "Yup, this could be my anthem!"
Fernando (the ABBA one)
This is an extremely rare demo recording from her days even before Star Search. For the Swede lovers, this should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't know who the guy singing with her is, but they sound wonderful together.
Discography Listing --
Linda Eder (1991)
And So Much More (1994)
It's Time (1997)
It's No Secret Anymore (1999)
Christmas Stays the Same (2000)
Gold (2002)
Storybook (2003)
Broadway, My Way (2003)
By Myself: The Songs of Judy Garland (2005)
Greatest Hits (2007)
The Other Side of Me (To be released March 2008)
In my SDF-Sings-Jekyll post, I posted a video of the English version of the song Someone Like You as performed by Linda Eder, and decided it was time to devote a post entirely to her, since she has never gotten the recognition that an artist of her quality deserves.
Linda Eder has been a fixture in the entertainment industry for more than 20 years now. In that time, she has released nine studio albums and a Greatest Hits, and appeared on a number of theatrical concept albums. She has starred on Broadway, performed at most major concert venues in the country including several multi-night, sell-out bookings at Carnegie Hall, and sung with symphonies from one coast to the other. She was the first and only contestant in any incarnation of American Star Search to win her category 13 consecutive times, a record that will likely never be repeated on a musical competition show ever again. She has had television specials, shared the stage with some of the greatest singers, musicians and artists in the business…
…and unless you’re a theatre fan (or a Jewish Grandmother from Long Island who loves PBS specials), you likely don’t even know who she is.
Born in Tuscon, AZ and raised in Brainerd, MN (where the awesome Fargo movie took place), Linda’s first true national exposure came on Star Search in the 1980’s, where she attracted the attention of (at the time) up-and-coming composer Frank Wildhorn (Jekyll & Hyde, The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Civil War and Camille Claudel). Wildhorn was then casting for an early workshop version of Jekyll & Hyde and he was determined that Linda be a part of it. At the same time, he began championing the young singer's recording career and the two began a professional partnership that eventually led to marriage, and a dearth of roles and songs being written especially for her.
Linda’s first five studio albums feature numerous Wildhorn compositions in styles ranging from pop to showtunes to modern day jazz standards, and she has performed leads in development and workshop versions of four of his musicals: Jekyll & Hyde and The Scarlet Pimpernel, on whose concept album recordings she appears, and Camille Claudel and Havana, both of which got stuck in Development Hell and will likely never be heard about again. And, while her acting was never as praised as her vocal ability, her performance as Lucy in the Original Broadway Cast of Jekyll earned her the Theatre World Award for Best Broadway Debut as well as the Drama Desk and Outer Critics’ Circle Award Nominations for Best Actress in a Musical, no small shakes for a theatrical newcomer. Especially one whose strength, like I said before, did not lie in her acting.
Citing her greatest inspirations to be Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand and opera great Eileen Farrell, Linda Eder is not a ‘contemporary’ singer in terms of what we consider ‘current radio music’. Indeed, Linda defies any musical boundaries. She is equally at home singing pop, country, American standards, blues, theatre music, epic balladry, and jazz. While her music isn’t as poppy as what I'd usually post, she has the amazing ability to make everything she sings sound utterly timeless, she commands legions of gay followers, and the woman can work a key change like nobody's business.
So, to this end, today's megapost is in honor of the terrific Linda Eder. I genuinely hope everyone likes what's on offer here. If you do, please go find her CDs, or go see her live. You won't end up disappointed.
Videos --
Through The Eyes Of Love
From her Star Search days. The hair is 80's-tastic, the 'diamond' earrings are blinding, the smile is cheesy, the voice is gorgeous... I'm telling you, it's a schlager performance!
Man of La Mancha
Introduced on her It's Time album and the subsequent 'Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda' segment of her following concert tour (where she sang songs from roles she 'shoulda played, woulda played, and coulda played'), this now probably rates right behind Vienna as the biggest fan favorite. She never made any bones about the fact that it was a man's song and she didn't care. And check out the high note in the bridge!
Bring On the Men
Cut from Jekyll & Hyde sometime between the first concept recording and the Broadway opening and replaced with the far inferior Good and Evil, this is "a joyous explosion of uptempo and lyrical bawdiness" (Sorry, I just wanted to use Carola's words in reference to something ungodly) that Linda trots out at every concert so we don't forget that it was, in fact, one of the best songs from that score.
Home Again
Normally I'm not big on these fan videos, but this is another one of my favorite songs, and I felt it needed to be included here. Just ignore the little anime people and enjoy this piece, unjustly cut from The Scarlet Pimpernel before its move to the stage.
Don't Rain on My Parade
Comparisons to Barbra Streisand are inevitable here, but even the Overdone One herself has given enthusiastic thumbs up to Linda's cover.
Audio --
Someone Like You
This Act 1 closer was the first song written specifically for Linda to sing in Jekyll & Hyde. This would be the full version of the SDF song I posted earlier in the week.
Vienna
Aside from Someone Like You, this would be considered by any fan to be Linda’s signature song. This is six and a half minutes of the most amazing balladry you will ever hear! The orchestration are gorgeous, her singing is enough to give you chills, and there’s even a big ol’ key change! In fact, the last time I saw her perform live, she ended her program without singing this song and when she came back out to do her encore (which was NOT going to be this song), the audience wouldn’t let her leave the stage until she did. Make no mistake, if you like boffo-socko emotional power ballads, you need look no further for the best one around.
Something To Believe In (Fitch Brothers Radio Edit)
For my uptempo lovers, I give you this little treat. In its original form, this was one of those big orchestrated gospel choir numbers. Here, it's been given a facelift and turned into a fun, dancey track. As a useless side note, the WB used to use this for their network bumpers back in the day. They'd play it under station commercials featuring the stars of Buffy, Dawson, Gilmore Girls and the like. No reason you needed to know that, I just thought I'd point it out.
I Want More
I can't introduce this song any better than she always does, so here. This is what she says. "It's an anthem for ALL the women out there! And maybe a few *corny wink* men, too..." Dare you to listen to this and not think "Yup, this could be my anthem!"
Fernando (the ABBA one)
This is an extremely rare demo recording from her days even before Star Search. For the Swede lovers, this should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't know who the guy singing with her is, but they sound wonderful together.
Discography Listing --
Linda Eder (1991)
And So Much More (1994)
It's Time (1997)
It's No Secret Anymore (1999)
Christmas Stays the Same (2000)
Gold (2002)
Storybook (2003)
Broadway, My Way (2003)
By Myself: The Songs of Judy Garland (2005)
Greatest Hits (2007)
The Other Side of Me (To be released March 2008)
IDOL ALERT!
We have a new one, people!!
This is Nikki Kerkhof, the Netherlands' newest Idol since Raffaela Paton was crowned over a year ago. Say hello!
And here is her first single, Hello World. I'm so glad to hear someone's caught onto the fact that those saccharine inspirational ballads really aren't the way to go. I'll let you know if I think Joss Stone's castoffs are much better. For now, though, I think I kinda like it.
Much luck to her, and good to the Netherlands for keeping the Idol tradition going strong!
DUTCH TREAT
Hind Laroussi... I like her.
Always have. Out of the first season of Dutch Idols, she was easily my favorite. This supernaturally beautiful girl with the rich honeyed voice caught my eyes and ears from the very start. Eliminated in third place behind the wildly popular Jim Bakkum and Jamai Loman, she was almost immediately signed and began work on her first album. Entitled Around the World, the album was a road trip through chilled-out slices of pop, R&B-lite, and even Portuguese fado (resulting in the GORGEOUS 'Fado Mae'), and tipped the charts at #9, not a bad placing for a first-season Idol contestant. In 2004, she won the Edison Award (Dutch Grammy, BRIT, what have you) for Best New Dutch Artist.
In 2005, Hind returned with her new album Halfway Home, moving her style away from Around the World's pop/r&b sound to what she herself refers to as 'Arabpop' due to the overwhelming Middle Eastern influences. Halfway Home didn't fare as well as its predecessor, though, topping out at a measly #31 on the Dutch charts and it looked for a while like it might be curtains for Hind.
However, in late 2007 she was announced as the Netherlands' entry into the upcoming 2008 Eurovision Song Contest. As the Dutch have an internal song selection policy, it might be a bit before I can get a clip up here, but once one is available I will, so watch this space.
For now, let's get retrospective and pull a little This Is Your Life on Hind, shall we?
From humble beginnings...
Taking on Robbie Williams on Idols
Her first post-Idol single, Summer All Over Again...
...and her next, Weak
Kickin' it coffeeshop style...
So, will Hind bring the ESC to Amsterdam next year? No, probably not. She's a classy, mature singer in a contest that rewards camp and excess. But that doesn't matter. She's a lovely girl with a beautiful voice, and that counts for more in the long run.
Good luck in Belgrade, Hind.
REALITY WATCH - 3/10/08
Project Runway
Well, that was anti-climactic. I don’t think anyone watching this week’s finale is in any way surprised that Christian ran away with the title of America’s Next Great Fashion Designer. While I haven’t always been his biggest fan, there is absolutely no denying that he produced some stellar work this season, and that he is truly a talent who will go on to do amazing things in the industry.
In fact, a big round of congratulations go out to all the finalists, including Chris March and Sweet P. They might not have gotten to show their collections on the aired program, but they were live in the tents, so I don’t think either of them is too upset. I still think it’s a shame that Chris’ gorgeous Mona Lisa dress didn’t get the spotlight it should’ve, but I’m sure we’ll see his work in the future anyway. Jillian’s line, a marvelous collection of skirts, knits and her specialty tailored jackets, was gorgeous, and Rami far outdid anything he had created on the show. His two last evening gowns were absolute works of art, voluminous and tailored and loud and subtle all at the same time. He should be proud to tell the judges to cram their ‘you’re so one-note’ comments.
More awesome than the runway, however, was the cheeto-clad Victoria Beckham, who might not be my favorite person ever, but added FAR more to this final judging than her predecessors Debra Messing or Parker Posey (I’m leaving Fern Mallis out of this, on account of how she pretty much rocks!). As we all know, La Beckham (Victoria, not David) is a woman who knows her clothing and makes sure everyone else knows that she knows it… Actually, the same could be said about her husband, the Other La Beckham. Anyways, her Rain-Man level savant-ness was on full display here as she spoke authoritatively and impressively on the merits of each designer’s line, even going so far as to deem Christian’s collection (self-described as ‘fierce’) as ‘major’, easily the highest praise one could expect from her.
Congratulations, little Cockatiel. You really are pretty Major, even if I’ve hated admitting it all season. Now, please stop adding those ugly ruffles to every blouse you make and you’ll be good to go.
Make Me a Supermodel
Another week with all boys in the bottom three! It’s like my prayers are being answered! Keep rockin’, Shannon and Holly! And send Ben home, America!
So, this week it was Frankie who was told that America didn’t give a shit about him… Wait, sorry. He was told that ‘[we] can’t make [you] a supermodel’… But that’s just a potato/po-tah-to sitch, right?
The challenge this week wasn’t the usual photoshoot, but a live action shoot for a video look book. Heh, y’know, I swear, as someone who spent from the time I was 7 singing, acting, performing and training, it’s always hysterical to me to take a bunch of people off the street and say ‘now you’re gonna act!’ cuz it always turns out that they really can’t. Anyways, this was a particularly nasty challenge, as no one was guaranteed a spot in the shoot. The director basically put people together on spec and if a minimodel couldn’t hack it, they didn’t make it into the final project.
Once again, poor Casey was left in the dust as he didn’t get cast in the first scene, got booted from the second, and wasn’t even in the same neighborhood as being considered for the last. Holly and Shannon continued their challenge domination, receiving praise for the shoots they were cast in, Ronnie continued his upward mobility, making out with Ben in the process (for the shoot, not, like, for fun… cuz Ben’s totally straight and has a wife at home and just likes the attention he gets from Ronnie but he’s totally straight and has a wife at home and he’s SO not gay and I’m so sick of this stupid storyline!), and Ben continued his descent into hopefully getting his face punched in.
Jennifer Starr, who I find I both like and agree with a lot, showed up to drag the minimodels to Bloomingdale’s for a little ‘Brand Ambassador’ gig, which really just looked to me like a ‘floor salesman’ gig, but I’m not in the fashion industry so what do I know? They basically had to walk the floor of the store’s cafe, interrupting people trying to enjoy their brunches and selling what they were wearing. It was exactly as comfortable to watch as it sounds like it would be. Ben decided he was over this challenge, half-assed the meeting with the woman from Bloomie’s, then got pissy when he wasn’t cast and spent the rest of the day pouting and acting like a jerk of the highest order. Classy! Casey, on the other hand, rocked out with his cock out and earned, with Shannon, the highest praise from the Bloomingdale’s exec.
At panel, everyone had to rock not one, but two looks, and Holly (yay!) and Shannon (yay!) were announced as safe. After a pathetic meltdown from Ben where Tyson looked about half a second from letting loose some flying fists, Perry (boo!) was sent back to join the girls leaving Ronnie, Casey and The Jerk to face the vote.
Just get rid of Ben, America. And, panel? Leave Casey ALONE! Pick on Perry, for God’s sake!
American Idol
The Songs of the 80’s brought us a fair amount of duds from both boys and girls this week, but we got a Top 12 out of it anyway. The awesomeness of Jason Castro, David Cook and David Archuleta helped them claim their spots first, followed by Brooke White (whose Pat Benatar performance I still can’t get over), Ramiele Malubay (do NOT have another bad week like that again, girl!), and Syesha Mercado. David-the-Gay-Stripper Hernandez, Michael Johns and Chikeze were the other three boys to make the cut, meaning that Luke Menard was finally put out of my misery along with Danny Noriega, which I wasn’t expecting. And, judging from the way in which he was so obviously planning on breezily telling Simon to fuck himself on his way over to claim a stool, neither was he. It’s a terrible shame, as he really is a talented kid, but he wasn’t ever able to really spotlight that since it obviously was more important that we understand that he is the Gayest Boy On TV. Hopefully, though, Danny’ll learn to tone himself down and realize that there are other ways to be a positive, unashamed gay man without having to resort to a string of clichés and personality-sapping affectations that serve no purpose except to perpetuate the idea that we’re all cartoon-like stereotypical queens. Learn some self respect, Danny, and you’ll be all the better for it. I’ll like you more then, too.
On the girls side, last to join the lineup were Carly Smithson, Amanda Overmeyer and Final Remaining Generic Blone Kristy Lee Cook, sending home Asia’h Epperson, she of the Unnecessary Apostrophe And Totally Dead Dad, and Second-To-Last Generic Blonde Kady Malloy who petrified us all by doing that damned Britney voice anytime a camera was in her face. Asia’h fell victim to the Curse of Don’t Sing a Whitney Song Ever, which is a shame because you would really think, seven seasons in, these kids would know that you don’t sing that shit! If Whitney even breathed on the sheet music, you LEAVE IT ALONE! She did it better than you! You will sound like a second-rate amateur if you sing something she’s done! Just don’t do it! And, again, it’s too bad as she is obviously a very talented girl, and a better song choice could have kept her in contention. Kady, on the other hand, was more than deserving of her boot, having warbled her way through Queen’s Who Wants To Live Forever and possibly given my cat a mild stroke in the process. (Poor Nestle had to leave the room while she sang and was actually sent running by a particularly flat note.)
Next week sees the newly formed Top 12 take on the Lennon/McCartney songbook, so make sure not to miss it. There’s nothing like watching amateurs mangle some of the best songs of the last hundred years, right? And, I predict right now that one of them will sing Hey Jude (badly), David Archuleta won’t listen to Simon and do another ballad, thus officially making him the most boring contestant in the bunch, Amanda Overmeyer will sing the Joe Cocker version of ‘I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends’ and be very competent at it, Ramiele will continue to rock my world even if she’s only mediocre, and Kristy Lee Cook won’t have any idea what to do with herself.
Also, wishful thinking, I would LOVE to hear Brooke White do an acoustic rendition of the Across the Universe version of I Wanna Hold Your Hand.
America's Next Top Model
...will get updated in the next day or two. I was at an Eddie Izzard show Wednesday night and still haven't seen it yet.
Watch this space.
Well, that was anti-climactic. I don’t think anyone watching this week’s finale is in any way surprised that Christian ran away with the title of America’s Next Great Fashion Designer. While I haven’t always been his biggest fan, there is absolutely no denying that he produced some stellar work this season, and that he is truly a talent who will go on to do amazing things in the industry.
In fact, a big round of congratulations go out to all the finalists, including Chris March and Sweet P. They might not have gotten to show their collections on the aired program, but they were live in the tents, so I don’t think either of them is too upset. I still think it’s a shame that Chris’ gorgeous Mona Lisa dress didn’t get the spotlight it should’ve, but I’m sure we’ll see his work in the future anyway. Jillian’s line, a marvelous collection of skirts, knits and her specialty tailored jackets, was gorgeous, and Rami far outdid anything he had created on the show. His two last evening gowns were absolute works of art, voluminous and tailored and loud and subtle all at the same time. He should be proud to tell the judges to cram their ‘you’re so one-note’ comments.
More awesome than the runway, however, was the cheeto-clad Victoria Beckham, who might not be my favorite person ever, but added FAR more to this final judging than her predecessors Debra Messing or Parker Posey (I’m leaving Fern Mallis out of this, on account of how she pretty much rocks!). As we all know, La Beckham (Victoria, not David) is a woman who knows her clothing and makes sure everyone else knows that she knows it… Actually, the same could be said about her husband, the Other La Beckham. Anyways, her Rain-Man level savant-ness was on full display here as she spoke authoritatively and impressively on the merits of each designer’s line, even going so far as to deem Christian’s collection (self-described as ‘fierce’) as ‘major’, easily the highest praise one could expect from her.
Congratulations, little Cockatiel. You really are pretty Major, even if I’ve hated admitting it all season. Now, please stop adding those ugly ruffles to every blouse you make and you’ll be good to go.
Make Me a Supermodel
Another week with all boys in the bottom three! It’s like my prayers are being answered! Keep rockin’, Shannon and Holly! And send Ben home, America!
So, this week it was Frankie who was told that America didn’t give a shit about him… Wait, sorry. He was told that ‘[we] can’t make [you] a supermodel’… But that’s just a potato/po-tah-to sitch, right?
The challenge this week wasn’t the usual photoshoot, but a live action shoot for a video look book. Heh, y’know, I swear, as someone who spent from the time I was 7 singing, acting, performing and training, it’s always hysterical to me to take a bunch of people off the street and say ‘now you’re gonna act!’ cuz it always turns out that they really can’t. Anyways, this was a particularly nasty challenge, as no one was guaranteed a spot in the shoot. The director basically put people together on spec and if a minimodel couldn’t hack it, they didn’t make it into the final project.
Once again, poor Casey was left in the dust as he didn’t get cast in the first scene, got booted from the second, and wasn’t even in the same neighborhood as being considered for the last. Holly and Shannon continued their challenge domination, receiving praise for the shoots they were cast in, Ronnie continued his upward mobility, making out with Ben in the process (for the shoot, not, like, for fun… cuz Ben’s totally straight and has a wife at home and just likes the attention he gets from Ronnie but he’s totally straight and has a wife at home and he’s SO not gay and I’m so sick of this stupid storyline!), and Ben continued his descent into hopefully getting his face punched in.
Jennifer Starr, who I find I both like and agree with a lot, showed up to drag the minimodels to Bloomingdale’s for a little ‘Brand Ambassador’ gig, which really just looked to me like a ‘floor salesman’ gig, but I’m not in the fashion industry so what do I know? They basically had to walk the floor of the store’s cafe, interrupting people trying to enjoy their brunches and selling what they were wearing. It was exactly as comfortable to watch as it sounds like it would be. Ben decided he was over this challenge, half-assed the meeting with the woman from Bloomie’s, then got pissy when he wasn’t cast and spent the rest of the day pouting and acting like a jerk of the highest order. Classy! Casey, on the other hand, rocked out with his cock out and earned, with Shannon, the highest praise from the Bloomingdale’s exec.
At panel, everyone had to rock not one, but two looks, and Holly (yay!) and Shannon (yay!) were announced as safe. After a pathetic meltdown from Ben where Tyson looked about half a second from letting loose some flying fists, Perry (boo!) was sent back to join the girls leaving Ronnie, Casey and The Jerk to face the vote.
Just get rid of Ben, America. And, panel? Leave Casey ALONE! Pick on Perry, for God’s sake!
American Idol
The Songs of the 80’s brought us a fair amount of duds from both boys and girls this week, but we got a Top 12 out of it anyway. The awesomeness of Jason Castro, David Cook and David Archuleta helped them claim their spots first, followed by Brooke White (whose Pat Benatar performance I still can’t get over), Ramiele Malubay (do NOT have another bad week like that again, girl!), and Syesha Mercado. David-the-Gay-Stripper Hernandez, Michael Johns and Chikeze were the other three boys to make the cut, meaning that Luke Menard was finally put out of my misery along with Danny Noriega, which I wasn’t expecting. And, judging from the way in which he was so obviously planning on breezily telling Simon to fuck himself on his way over to claim a stool, neither was he. It’s a terrible shame, as he really is a talented kid, but he wasn’t ever able to really spotlight that since it obviously was more important that we understand that he is the Gayest Boy On TV. Hopefully, though, Danny’ll learn to tone himself down and realize that there are other ways to be a positive, unashamed gay man without having to resort to a string of clichés and personality-sapping affectations that serve no purpose except to perpetuate the idea that we’re all cartoon-like stereotypical queens. Learn some self respect, Danny, and you’ll be all the better for it. I’ll like you more then, too.
On the girls side, last to join the lineup were Carly Smithson, Amanda Overmeyer and Final Remaining Generic Blone Kristy Lee Cook, sending home Asia’h Epperson, she of the Unnecessary Apostrophe And Totally Dead Dad, and Second-To-Last Generic Blonde Kady Malloy who petrified us all by doing that damned Britney voice anytime a camera was in her face. Asia’h fell victim to the Curse of Don’t Sing a Whitney Song Ever, which is a shame because you would really think, seven seasons in, these kids would know that you don’t sing that shit! If Whitney even breathed on the sheet music, you LEAVE IT ALONE! She did it better than you! You will sound like a second-rate amateur if you sing something she’s done! Just don’t do it! And, again, it’s too bad as she is obviously a very talented girl, and a better song choice could have kept her in contention. Kady, on the other hand, was more than deserving of her boot, having warbled her way through Queen’s Who Wants To Live Forever and possibly given my cat a mild stroke in the process. (Poor Nestle had to leave the room while she sang and was actually sent running by a particularly flat note.)
Next week sees the newly formed Top 12 take on the Lennon/McCartney songbook, so make sure not to miss it. There’s nothing like watching amateurs mangle some of the best songs of the last hundred years, right? And, I predict right now that one of them will sing Hey Jude (badly), David Archuleta won’t listen to Simon and do another ballad, thus officially making him the most boring contestant in the bunch, Amanda Overmeyer will sing the Joe Cocker version of ‘I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends’ and be very competent at it, Ramiele will continue to rock my world even if she’s only mediocre, and Kristy Lee Cook won’t have any idea what to do with herself.
Also, wishful thinking, I would LOVE to hear Brooke White do an acoustic rendition of the Across the Universe version of I Wanna Hold Your Hand.
America's Next Top Model
...will get updated in the next day or two. I was at an Eddie Izzard show Wednesday night and still haven't seen it yet.
Watch this space.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
YAY, GERMANY!!!
I'll do a gigantic megapost with all the girls' solo stuff later when my Eurovision Fever has worn off, but for now I'm just going on record as being a ginormous No Angels fan from the very very very beginning. I mean, I was blasting Rivers of Joy back in the DAY, yo! But I had NO hope that they'd go through to Begrade because Disappear isn't exactly the kind of song Germany needs to send if they want to do well. Apparently, thankfully, those wonderful people don't give a shit about that and just want to send their favorite girls off to perform a great pop song on the biggest stage in the world, so to that I can only say a giant WHOO!
No Angels is going to Belgrade, and now Eurovision just got a whole lot more fun for me.
Let's take a look at their entry, shall we? It's got a wind machine!
Okay, so we have to deduct points for Lucy's hat, but you win some, you lose some...
No Angels is going to Belgrade, and now Eurovision just got a whole lot more fun for me.
Let's take a look at their entry, shall we? It's got a wind machine!
Okay, so we have to deduct points for Lucy's hat, but you win some, you lose some...
U-huuuuuuuuT INATT
Been a little Bengtzing-crazy today, huh?
Well, I'm not stopping now. Here she is in the 2006 Stockholm company of Rent!
(You'll need to turn up your speakers for Seasons of Love)
And for a couple of promo shots...
And, in a Melodifestivalen-related coincidence, here's her (fingers crossed) competition, Terran Anderson, a couple of years before in the same role!
Well, I'm not stopping now. Here she is in the 2006 Stockholm company of Rent!
(You'll need to turn up your speakers for Seasons of Love)
And for a couple of promo shots...
And, in a Melodifestivalen-related coincidence, here's her (fingers crossed) competition, Terran Anderson, a couple of years before in the same role!
TAKING IT DOWN A NOTCH
Dunno how many of the blogs these have already hit by this point, but here's Linda's new song, Inga Pojkar I Världen, performed on Nyhetsmorgon.
I'm a little hesitant to judge the song yet cuz it's ovbious that she's taking it down for the breakfast crowd, but I REALLY want to hear the souped-up schlager version.
And here's a very mellow Alla Flickor. I don't love this arrangement as much as the original, but I do like that she manages to hit the key change.
I'm a little hesitant to judge the song yet cuz it's ovbious that she's taking it down for the breakfast crowd, but I REALLY want to hear the souped-up schlager version.
And here's a very mellow Alla Flickor. I don't love this arrangement as much as the original, but I do like that she manages to hit the key change.
REALLY SAYING SOMETHING
Anyone who actually knows me knows that I'm a sucker for a t-shirt with a message.
Well, come May 24, this will be my message...
Also, for the Swede-lovers here, head over to www.glarkware.com and pick up this little treat. Note the imposing Ikea logo...
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
TOO MUCH FASHION SENSE FOR ONE GENDER
I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the Melodifestivalen fans here have seen this already, but it never fails to make me chuckle anyway. And since this year’s MF is all Divalicious, I thought it was time to trot this one out.
For anyone who wants a translation, there’s a rough one on pages 10 and 11 of the comments section if you bounce over to the YouTube page.
And let's give Lena and Charlotte props for lending their vocal talents as well...
For anyone who wants a translation, there’s a rough one on pages 10 and 11 of the comments section if you bounce over to the YouTube page.
And let's give Lena and Charlotte props for lending their vocal talents as well...
Monday, March 3, 2008
FOR THE SDF FANS!
For my fellow Sarah Dawn Finer lovers, here's a clip from her stint in Jekyll & Hyde in Stockholm. This is Någon Som Du, the Swedish version of the Act 1 finale power ballad, Someone Like You.
For anyone who doesn't know the original, here's the closest I could find to a stage clip. Linda Eder is a fantastic singer. I can vouch for this, having seen her live more than a couple of times, but she couldn't act her way out of a paper bag... That much is sort of evident.
For anyone who doesn't know the original, here's the closest I could find to a stage clip. Linda Eder is a fantastic singer. I can vouch for this, having seen her live more than a couple of times, but she couldn't act her way out of a paper bag... That much is sort of evident.
HANDICAPPING THE ANDRA CHANSEN
Only two more spots to fill before the Ultimate Schlager Diva Showdown of 2008!
We just have to hold on one more week through the Andra Chansen round and then we can all enjoy ourselves a big slice of a Hero sandwich when Char wins the whole shebang and makes another camptastic strut across the Eurovision stage.
But the question on everyone’s mind at the moment seems to be which two songs will move on to play also-ran to this year’s Schlager Anthem?
Since MF has established the Andra Chansen round as a tournament-style song-versus-song brawl, we’ll look at each pairing and see if we can handicap our way down to the two songs that will move on to the Globen to join Amy and Christer, Sanna and Rongedal, BWO and Frida, and Linda and The Winner… *cough* Sorry, we’ll just call her ‘Charlotte’ for now.
In the first matchup, we have the E-Type/Poodles dancerock collabo against Sibel’s power ballad. E-Type and the Poodles come with experience, both with MF and in general, but as I’ve said a couple of other times, Sibel is an Idol contestant, which means she comes into the competition with a fanbase in place that is already used to the idea of voting for her. As well, while I liked Line of Fire at the time, I don’t really remember it now, while Sibel’s That Is Where I’ll Go is both fresh in my mind and made a far stronger impression the first time I heard it. Sibel also has the added benefit of being involved in a competition year where both the lady contestants and more traditional schlager are being highly touted, meaning that people will likely respond to her ballad better than the E-Poodles’ rocking and rolling. Moving on to Round 2: Sibel.
In the second pairing, we have the ‘TEENAGE FIGHT’ (thanks, Luuk!) between Ola ‘My Hair Belongs to Magnus Backlund’ Svensson and the poptastic song-stylings of Caracola. I, personally, would LOVE to see Caracola move on. I wasn’t wowed by Love In Stereo, but I found myself singing Caracola’s ‘ooh-wah-doo-bop-a-doo-bop-ay-oh-yay-oh!’ over and over in the week after their performance. However, this is another case where the Idol voters will flock to the phones and make sure that Ola is well represented. His middling song aside, Caracola is going to have to be flawless if they want to beat him. Moving on to Round 2: Ola.
In the third battle, we see underdogs Nordman take on the super-pairing of Andreas Johnsson and Miss Melodifestivalen herself, Carola. Given that Carola and Andreas (Androla, as they will be heretofore referred) weren’t even expected to BE in this round, this is where things could get interesting. They certainly have a more contest-appropriate song in One Love than Nordman do with I Lågornas Sken (though it’s not, amongst the other finalists, the strongest entry), but the public have laid down a pretty obvious gauntlet to these two, letting them know that they’re going to have to WORK and earn their place in the final. Moving on to Round 2: Androla. Against a stronger song, they might have had trouble, but they lucked out drawing against Nordman.
In the last match, sexless Deitrich-wannabe Suzzie Tapper squares off against sexy opera-babe Therese Andersson. Now, I think this is a no-brainer, but I thought it was a no-brainer that Suzzie Tapper would come in last in her heat, so I guess I underestimate the power of a woman singing a husky baritone. Tapper’s only real edge comes from her song being Swedish in a year when the majority of final songs are English-sung, however Therese Andersson presents the better offering by far with her classical crossover. Moving on to Round 2: Therese Andersson. She'd better!
Now, hypothetically speaking, if these are the winners of their first rounds of voting, that means that the voting configuration for the second round is Ola versus Sibel and Androla versus Terran.
In the first match up, Ola v. Sibel, the voters will obviously be wildly confused, thinking that they’ve tuned into a rerun of Idol. Let’s hope that they’re confused enough that they remember what they did the first time out, and vote off Ola first, leaving Sibel to continue on (she reached third place on her Idol season, where Ola only placed 8th). Between their two songs, Sibel’s is arguably the stronger of the two in both construction and lyricism (occasionally that matters to me… so what?), and she is by far the better natural singer. Ola has a certain charm, and that will be his strength here. He will need to play up his showmanship in order to distract people from the fact that his song isn’t as interesting as either Sibel’s or anything that’s already in the final, and that his voice isn’t as strong as either Sibel’s or anyone’s who’s already in the final. Moving on to Globen: Ola. Let’s face it, voting blocs made up of teenage girls who think a boy is cute can be very powerful!
In the second match up, we have the Androla juggernaut facing off against the New Swedish Nightingale. This will probably make for the most intriguing voting of the night, and this is the head-to-head that could really go either way. Obviously Androla come with oodles of public support based on just who they are (though, not enough to go direct), and Carola has the benefit of being a multiple winner, but One Love is not getting the hottest reviews by voters (I happened to like it, though I can see how this is not the sort of thing one would like to see in Belgrade). On the other side of the coin, Therese Andersson seems to have won herself a boatload of respect and new fans for her rendition of When You Need Me, but also presents a more ‘non-traditional’ song that might have some purists scratching their heads. While this one COULD come down to the live performance, I think it’s more likely than not that Terran’s ride will end here. Moving on to Globen: Androla. Love her or hate her, it’s Carola, people. She performs in the Finalen. It’s what she was built for.
So, there you have it. By my estimation, Ola Svensson and Carola & Andreas will be joining the lineup in Stockholm, and subsequently losing to Charlotte Perrelli.
As God intended it.
(Sorry, Carola!)
We just have to hold on one more week through the Andra Chansen round and then we can all enjoy ourselves a big slice of a Hero sandwich when Char wins the whole shebang and makes another camptastic strut across the Eurovision stage.
But the question on everyone’s mind at the moment seems to be which two songs will move on to play also-ran to this year’s Schlager Anthem?
Since MF has established the Andra Chansen round as a tournament-style song-versus-song brawl, we’ll look at each pairing and see if we can handicap our way down to the two songs that will move on to the Globen to join Amy and Christer, Sanna and Rongedal, BWO and Frida, and Linda and The Winner… *cough* Sorry, we’ll just call her ‘Charlotte’ for now.
In the first matchup, we have the E-Type/Poodles dancerock collabo against Sibel’s power ballad. E-Type and the Poodles come with experience, both with MF and in general, but as I’ve said a couple of other times, Sibel is an Idol contestant, which means she comes into the competition with a fanbase in place that is already used to the idea of voting for her. As well, while I liked Line of Fire at the time, I don’t really remember it now, while Sibel’s That Is Where I’ll Go is both fresh in my mind and made a far stronger impression the first time I heard it. Sibel also has the added benefit of being involved in a competition year where both the lady contestants and more traditional schlager are being highly touted, meaning that people will likely respond to her ballad better than the E-Poodles’ rocking and rolling. Moving on to Round 2: Sibel.
In the second pairing, we have the ‘TEENAGE FIGHT’ (thanks, Luuk!) between Ola ‘My Hair Belongs to Magnus Backlund’ Svensson and the poptastic song-stylings of Caracola. I, personally, would LOVE to see Caracola move on. I wasn’t wowed by Love In Stereo, but I found myself singing Caracola’s ‘ooh-wah-doo-bop-a-doo-bop-ay-oh-yay-oh!’ over and over in the week after their performance. However, this is another case where the Idol voters will flock to the phones and make sure that Ola is well represented. His middling song aside, Caracola is going to have to be flawless if they want to beat him. Moving on to Round 2: Ola.
In the third battle, we see underdogs Nordman take on the super-pairing of Andreas Johnsson and Miss Melodifestivalen herself, Carola. Given that Carola and Andreas (Androla, as they will be heretofore referred) weren’t even expected to BE in this round, this is where things could get interesting. They certainly have a more contest-appropriate song in One Love than Nordman do with I Lågornas Sken (though it’s not, amongst the other finalists, the strongest entry), but the public have laid down a pretty obvious gauntlet to these two, letting them know that they’re going to have to WORK and earn their place in the final. Moving on to Round 2: Androla. Against a stronger song, they might have had trouble, but they lucked out drawing against Nordman.
In the last match, sexless Deitrich-wannabe Suzzie Tapper squares off against sexy opera-babe Therese Andersson. Now, I think this is a no-brainer, but I thought it was a no-brainer that Suzzie Tapper would come in last in her heat, so I guess I underestimate the power of a woman singing a husky baritone. Tapper’s only real edge comes from her song being Swedish in a year when the majority of final songs are English-sung, however Therese Andersson presents the better offering by far with her classical crossover. Moving on to Round 2: Therese Andersson. She'd better!
Now, hypothetically speaking, if these are the winners of their first rounds of voting, that means that the voting configuration for the second round is Ola versus Sibel and Androla versus Terran.
In the first match up, Ola v. Sibel, the voters will obviously be wildly confused, thinking that they’ve tuned into a rerun of Idol. Let’s hope that they’re confused enough that they remember what they did the first time out, and vote off Ola first, leaving Sibel to continue on (she reached third place on her Idol season, where Ola only placed 8th). Between their two songs, Sibel’s is arguably the stronger of the two in both construction and lyricism (occasionally that matters to me… so what?), and she is by far the better natural singer. Ola has a certain charm, and that will be his strength here. He will need to play up his showmanship in order to distract people from the fact that his song isn’t as interesting as either Sibel’s or anything that’s already in the final, and that his voice isn’t as strong as either Sibel’s or anyone’s who’s already in the final. Moving on to Globen: Ola. Let’s face it, voting blocs made up of teenage girls who think a boy is cute can be very powerful!
In the second match up, we have the Androla juggernaut facing off against the New Swedish Nightingale. This will probably make for the most intriguing voting of the night, and this is the head-to-head that could really go either way. Obviously Androla come with oodles of public support based on just who they are (though, not enough to go direct), and Carola has the benefit of being a multiple winner, but One Love is not getting the hottest reviews by voters (I happened to like it, though I can see how this is not the sort of thing one would like to see in Belgrade). On the other side of the coin, Therese Andersson seems to have won herself a boatload of respect and new fans for her rendition of When You Need Me, but also presents a more ‘non-traditional’ song that might have some purists scratching their heads. While this one COULD come down to the live performance, I think it’s more likely than not that Terran’s ride will end here. Moving on to Globen: Androla. Love her or hate her, it’s Carola, people. She performs in the Finalen. It’s what she was built for.
So, there you have it. By my estimation, Ola Svensson and Carola & Andreas will be joining the lineup in Stockholm, and subsequently losing to Charlotte Perrelli.
As God intended it.
(Sorry, Carola!)
PAULINA! SHE’S ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE… OR AT THE END OF THE JUDGING TABLE
Who could tell back in the halcyon days of Adrienne, Elyse and Robyn that a stupid little show called America’s Next Top Model would have the staying power it has ended up having? From meager under-budgeted beginnings in New York City to a couple of seasons producing some real potential models to a bunch of crappy seasons in LA producing… Tootie… and now back to New York City again, ANTM has begun it’s 10th cycle, a milestone that few reality shows manage to reach.
Ten seasons in, it was obviously time for an overhaul to the show, of which the reintegration of ANTM into the New York scene was no small part. With Bravo’s ‘other model show’ currently taping here and consistently showing up Miss Banks’ production as the turd it really has become, it was time to bring some modelettes back to the Big Apple to see if they have what it takes (they don’t) to compete in the biggest proper fashion market in the country (they… really don’t). The other change to the show is the replacement of super-nice Twiggy with the deliciously biting Paulina Porizkova, who has enough shades of Janice Dickinson to make her just what the judging panel has been lacking since Cycle 5.
In the first season, before Tyrant’s ego had all but destroyed the credibility of ANTM, she acted as a bit of a mentor/den mother to the girls. Tyra Banks pre-‘Tyrant’ personality (think Jennifer Lopez, pre J.Lo) was a professional who had been through the industry, and was therefore someone who could intelligently – so to speak – teach the girls the ins and outs of modellizing and guide them on their way to following their (foolish) dreams. She was very hands on with the girls, to the point of appearing at and coaching the girls on their photoshoots and providing useful runway tips like ‘don’t put your hands all the way into your pockets’ (since it’s advice like this that lands girls the big jobs). As such, on the panel she needed a foil, someone who could give the girls the harsh criticism they needed to hear while still allowing herself to function as bigger sister/best friend (‘therapist’ came later, sometime after the Shake Ya Body fiasco in Cycle 2).
Enter Janice Dickinson, the ‘Original Supermodel’.
Janice made her mark almost immediately as the go-to judge for sound bites, bitchery, drunkenness, and all-around fabulousness. She compared girls to trannies, men, amputees, fatties, platypus..ssses, breast exam patients, and a litany of other non-modely character types, and did it with brio. She threw herself on Tyra (in hospital paper booties, no less) to demonstrate ‘passion’ to the modelettes, she air-flogged Nigel to prove… eh, what does it matter why? She air-flogged Nigel. The only problem there is lack of an actual whip. Point is, for the first four seasons of the show, Janice’s Insanity became one of the leading characters on the show, and her inability to stop herself from saying exactly what she was thinking eventually led to some of the most riveting TV one could find on a Tuesday night… and also some mighty hatred from Tyra and eventually a boot from the show.
Prior to Cycle 5, after some long-standing animosity between the Original Supermodel and the Bankable One over alleged behind-the-scenes goings-on, it was announced that Janice would not be returning. Tyra had begun moving the show to a more Cinderella rags-to-riches place and Janice’s attempts to comment on the girls’ actual potential as models (on a show about models… It’s insanity, right?) was not in line with the new turn the show was taking. The details of Janice’s departure seem even to this day to depend on which Ego you feel like siding with. Tyra says that Janice left willingly, Janice says that Tyra canned her. I’d be willing to bet it was more a meet-in-the-middle thing (“You don’t need to come back next season!” “Fine, I won’t!”), but the fact remains that Janice’s departure meant that a spot was open on the panel for someone who could fit Tyra’s more ‘wholesome, supportive’ image.
Enter Twiggy, the ‘Original Superwaif’.
Twiggy could have been a good addition to the judges’ table. She is a respected figure in the industry having essentially changed the face of 60’s fashion, she was able to parlay her modeling career into a respectable acting career in theatre and TV (a big thing with Tyra, despite her not actually wanting the modelettes to SAY they might have plans after this phase of their ‘careers’), and she seemed to be able to convey both pleasure and displeasure with the girls’ work without reducing them to tears.
The problem is that Twiggy was boring. More often than not, her critiques would be right on, but her attempts to sugar coat them began to serve as a reminder that we, the viewers, didn’t tune into the show to watch the girls be treated respectfully with kid gloves, we tuned in to watch them get torn to pieces and work their size zero asses off for a shred of validation, the way real models do. Additionally, Twiggy showed herself to be too nice to the other judges, allowing Tyra to overrule any opinion she might have had, negating her place on the panel entirely.
Five cycles later, after the 9th installment of the show, it was announced that Twiggy was leaving the show due to other commitments. The show was moving back to New York City, and it was now time to find a new panelist again.
Enter Paulina Porizkova, the ‘Actual Supermodel’.
Paulina Porizkova had openly derided ANTM for some while, basically calling Tyrant on her bullshit assertion that girls on this show have any kind of career opportunities after the fact. She made no bones about the fact that she didn’t believe that the show was in any way legitimate, and openly scolded Tyra for allowing these girls to think that they had prospects beyond being a reality-show contestant. And it was here that Ken Mok and the producers of ANTM finally began to take their heads out of their collective asses and do their jobs correctly. Rather than allow Tyrant to get in an off-screen bitch fight with this truth-screamer, instead they made sure to contact Ms. P as soon as she’d been booted (too soon) off of Dancing With the Stars and offered her a place on the judges panel, where she could conveniently air these issues right on camera!
In an even more genius move, Ms. P accepted the offer and made her ANTM debut in one of the most wonderfully-crafted segments of the show in seasons. Introduced as someone ‘from the industry’ who was there to give them an ‘honest assessment’ of their potential, Paulina strutted onto the screens to squeals of delight from the modelettes and, in short order, put a big kibosh on their joy and called out three girls as pizza-faced, tranny and manny. That sound you all might have heard at 8:21 Wednesday night? That was the sound of me giving my heart to Paulina Porizokva.
But she didn't stop there.
After being introduced as the newest judge for the season, she claimed her spot on the panel immediately, calling out several girls on their amateurish photos but managing to do two things in the process that her predecessors weren't able to manage. First, she was able to say 'you might want to try doing so-and-so differently so it doesn't happen again', and she was able to confidently and appropriately tell other members of the panel to take their own opinions and stuff them. When Nigel decided one girl 'looked too nervous', Ms. P snorted at him that 'she SHOULD be nervous for a few weeks', effectively cutting off at the knees his flawed reason for wanting to get rid of a potential modelette.
This is a woman who knows her business and will obviously not be cowed by anyone else's opinions of the girls, the show, or the host/producer. In fact, I am praying that we the viewers will be treated to a Paulina/Tyrant smackdown at some point in the competion, with Tyrant fighting for a contestant who can't model but would look great on her talk show, and Paulina backing a girl who might not be an exciting person, but 'shines in her pho-tos'. And, at the moment, I put money on Paulina.
With such a promising new judge, we can only hope that she brings back a little of the Janice Magic to a show that desperately needs it.
Ten seasons in, it was obviously time for an overhaul to the show, of which the reintegration of ANTM into the New York scene was no small part. With Bravo’s ‘other model show’ currently taping here and consistently showing up Miss Banks’ production as the turd it really has become, it was time to bring some modelettes back to the Big Apple to see if they have what it takes (they don’t) to compete in the biggest proper fashion market in the country (they… really don’t). The other change to the show is the replacement of super-nice Twiggy with the deliciously biting Paulina Porizkova, who has enough shades of Janice Dickinson to make her just what the judging panel has been lacking since Cycle 5.
In the first season, before Tyrant’s ego had all but destroyed the credibility of ANTM, she acted as a bit of a mentor/den mother to the girls. Tyra Banks pre-‘Tyrant’ personality (think Jennifer Lopez, pre J.Lo) was a professional who had been through the industry, and was therefore someone who could intelligently – so to speak – teach the girls the ins and outs of modellizing and guide them on their way to following their (foolish) dreams. She was very hands on with the girls, to the point of appearing at and coaching the girls on their photoshoots and providing useful runway tips like ‘don’t put your hands all the way into your pockets’ (since it’s advice like this that lands girls the big jobs). As such, on the panel she needed a foil, someone who could give the girls the harsh criticism they needed to hear while still allowing herself to function as bigger sister/best friend (‘therapist’ came later, sometime after the Shake Ya Body fiasco in Cycle 2).
Enter Janice Dickinson, the ‘Original Supermodel’.
Janice made her mark almost immediately as the go-to judge for sound bites, bitchery, drunkenness, and all-around fabulousness. She compared girls to trannies, men, amputees, fatties, platypus..ssses, breast exam patients, and a litany of other non-modely character types, and did it with brio. She threw herself on Tyra (in hospital paper booties, no less) to demonstrate ‘passion’ to the modelettes, she air-flogged Nigel to prove… eh, what does it matter why? She air-flogged Nigel. The only problem there is lack of an actual whip. Point is, for the first four seasons of the show, Janice’s Insanity became one of the leading characters on the show, and her inability to stop herself from saying exactly what she was thinking eventually led to some of the most riveting TV one could find on a Tuesday night… and also some mighty hatred from Tyra and eventually a boot from the show.
Prior to Cycle 5, after some long-standing animosity between the Original Supermodel and the Bankable One over alleged behind-the-scenes goings-on, it was announced that Janice would not be returning. Tyra had begun moving the show to a more Cinderella rags-to-riches place and Janice’s attempts to comment on the girls’ actual potential as models (on a show about models… It’s insanity, right?) was not in line with the new turn the show was taking. The details of Janice’s departure seem even to this day to depend on which Ego you feel like siding with. Tyra says that Janice left willingly, Janice says that Tyra canned her. I’d be willing to bet it was more a meet-in-the-middle thing (“You don’t need to come back next season!” “Fine, I won’t!”), but the fact remains that Janice’s departure meant that a spot was open on the panel for someone who could fit Tyra’s more ‘wholesome, supportive’ image.
Enter Twiggy, the ‘Original Superwaif’.
Twiggy could have been a good addition to the judges’ table. She is a respected figure in the industry having essentially changed the face of 60’s fashion, she was able to parlay her modeling career into a respectable acting career in theatre and TV (a big thing with Tyra, despite her not actually wanting the modelettes to SAY they might have plans after this phase of their ‘careers’), and she seemed to be able to convey both pleasure and displeasure with the girls’ work without reducing them to tears.
The problem is that Twiggy was boring. More often than not, her critiques would be right on, but her attempts to sugar coat them began to serve as a reminder that we, the viewers, didn’t tune into the show to watch the girls be treated respectfully with kid gloves, we tuned in to watch them get torn to pieces and work their size zero asses off for a shred of validation, the way real models do. Additionally, Twiggy showed herself to be too nice to the other judges, allowing Tyra to overrule any opinion she might have had, negating her place on the panel entirely.
Five cycles later, after the 9th installment of the show, it was announced that Twiggy was leaving the show due to other commitments. The show was moving back to New York City, and it was now time to find a new panelist again.
Enter Paulina Porizkova, the ‘Actual Supermodel’.
Paulina Porizkova had openly derided ANTM for some while, basically calling Tyrant on her bullshit assertion that girls on this show have any kind of career opportunities after the fact. She made no bones about the fact that she didn’t believe that the show was in any way legitimate, and openly scolded Tyra for allowing these girls to think that they had prospects beyond being a reality-show contestant. And it was here that Ken Mok and the producers of ANTM finally began to take their heads out of their collective asses and do their jobs correctly. Rather than allow Tyrant to get in an off-screen bitch fight with this truth-screamer, instead they made sure to contact Ms. P as soon as she’d been booted (too soon) off of Dancing With the Stars and offered her a place on the judges panel, where she could conveniently air these issues right on camera!
In an even more genius move, Ms. P accepted the offer and made her ANTM debut in one of the most wonderfully-crafted segments of the show in seasons. Introduced as someone ‘from the industry’ who was there to give them an ‘honest assessment’ of their potential, Paulina strutted onto the screens to squeals of delight from the modelettes and, in short order, put a big kibosh on their joy and called out three girls as pizza-faced, tranny and manny. That sound you all might have heard at 8:21 Wednesday night? That was the sound of me giving my heart to Paulina Porizokva.
But she didn't stop there.
After being introduced as the newest judge for the season, she claimed her spot on the panel immediately, calling out several girls on their amateurish photos but managing to do two things in the process that her predecessors weren't able to manage. First, she was able to say 'you might want to try doing so-and-so differently so it doesn't happen again', and she was able to confidently and appropriately tell other members of the panel to take their own opinions and stuff them. When Nigel decided one girl 'looked too nervous', Ms. P snorted at him that 'she SHOULD be nervous for a few weeks', effectively cutting off at the knees his flawed reason for wanting to get rid of a potential modelette.
This is a woman who knows her business and will obviously not be cowed by anyone else's opinions of the girls, the show, or the host/producer. In fact, I am praying that we the viewers will be treated to a Paulina/Tyrant smackdown at some point in the competion, with Tyrant fighting for a contestant who can't model but would look great on her talk show, and Paulina backing a girl who might not be an exciting person, but 'shines in her pho-tos'. And, at the moment, I put money on Paulina.
With such a promising new judge, we can only hope that she brings back a little of the Janice Magic to a show that desperately needs it.
REALITY WATCH - 3/3/08
Project Runway
Well, Rami is in and Chris is auf. Having seen the final collections thanks to the geniuses over at Blogging Project Runway, I’m still a little disappointed that Chris’ collection won’t be shown on TV. I think there are several pieces that probably would’ve gone over very well in the tents, and as a Chris fan, I would have liked to have seen how they were received, however Rami was the right choice overall. His work, while repetitive, has been mostly consistent throughout the season, and when he steps out of his draping comfort zone, he produces some quality work (note the Hershey's and Levi's challenges for examples). He came into the competition a frontrunner and has finally taken his rightful place in the finals. Oh, and he wasn’t, y’know, already eliminated. Giant congrats to Chris March for all his work this season, though. He gave us some lovely looks, and the best laughs of the season. I can only hope I see him marching down Fifth Ave in a giant costume next Pride so I can accost him like the fan I am.
Christian and Jillian, the two designers given the automatic go-ahead for Fashion Week, showed their collections to Tim Gunn (who still, four seasons in, needs to call me! We’ll do drinks, Tim!). Christian’s feather pants (no, really... Feather. Pants.) were deemed to be costumey, though Jillian’s coat, with inspiration taken from the final artwork challenge, seemed to fare better. More inspiring to me? Jillian’s daring over-fuzzy winter wool sweater/navy summer short-shorts combo. More terrifying to me? Jillian’s serial-killer serious assertion that she will succeed… OR ELSE!
Now, all that’s left to do is crown Christian the winner so I can start screaming about how Jillian was robbed, and the season will end exactly as it should.
Make Me a Supermodel
Is anyone here as convinced as I am that Casey is a total queer and just not saying it on television?
I have no proof of this, myself, and it’s not like it would matter if I did. But every episode of this show that I watch, I become more and more convinced of three things: Perry is more of an ass than will ever be shown on television, people are only keeping Ben around to find out if he’ll make out with Ronnie, and Casey is really quite queenly. Admittedly, just a TINY bit of this might be wishful thinking, since I find his sensitivity and drama-free attitude both refreshing for a reality show and entirely charming, and I think he’s a stunning young man. I just wish he’d realize that there’s better guys to play butt-boy for than Perry who, for yet another week, needs to get off my TV set.
This week, the minimodels took to the slopes to capture motion shots. Perry and Ronnie had to look fierce while skiing (which, YAY, Perry sucked at, though, BOO, he ended up taking a great shot), Holly and Ben had to snowboard while drinking champagne (which she rocked, as usual, while he could only copy Jack Nicholson’s Joker rictus), and Frankie, Casey and Shannon had to… run around and play in the snow (which only Shannon was able to do without looking like a useless waste of space, apparently).
I’m personally psyched that this week sees three of the dudes up for elimination. With the girls dropping like flies, Shannon and Holly had to rally, and did, the former even suffering through a week in the hospital but managing to turn up the heat when necessary. Thankfully, the judges have realized that Frankie and Ben are living out their usefulness and, with any luck, one of them won’t be sticking around any longer.
American Idol
Oh, America, how could you? You deny me Alexandréa Lushington (she of the Coolest Name Ever) and make me suffer through more Kady Malloy another week? I think I like you as much as I like the Brits right now.
So, 70’s week brought us more middling performances from both boys and girls, with the only real standout (in whatever way you take that) being the Imagine performance by David Archuleta. Don’t start sending me hate mail, but I didn’t like it. Yes, he’s cute (well, in that way that puppies or babies are cute... allegedly), and a good singer for a 17 year old, but he oversang the song. Imagine is a plaintive song, asking for something simple. It's one step away from being a prayer. David made it an exercise in vocal gymnastics, which is de rigeur for Idol contestants, sure, but the ability to maneuver around a melody does NOT a good performance make. This is a case of his ‘cuteness’ (which I’m not swayed by) making up for other shortcomings, like over-styling. But, the tween-girl Idol audience isn’t really known for paying attention to that stuff when there’s the much more pressing ‘he’s so adorablee’ to pay attention to.
Also, Generic Blonde Alaina Whitaker (who?) was eliminated, leaving us to wonder who all those other Generic Blondes actually are, and how many more of them we have to knock off before it's down to just Ramiele Malubay and Carly Smithson.
America’s Next Top Model
You guys? I think Kim is my hero. In, like, a fabulous Charlotte Perrelli way. In a manner more clueless than Cycle 2 Julie telling Tyrant she wanted to be a fashion merchandiser and not a mannequin, Kim of the Gemma-Ward-Smushface stood up at panel and told La Ty-Ty that modeling was a soulless and stupid endeavor and then walked out. Okay, it might’ve taken more to get there (including statements like 'I just think it's stupid to pay that much for clothes' and 'I just wanted to learn how to take better pictures', which very obviously nearly caused an explosion of the Tyra's Head variety), but that was the gist of it. Tyra tried her usual “You know that there were other girls who would have sold their illegitimate children to be here” guilt routine, but Kim was having none of it, smilingly telling the Bankable One to get bent.
In other news, after a ‘socially conscious’ homeless-themed photoshoot, some girl named Atalya was sent home to bask in her obsurity. I guess it’s good that I never really bothered to notice which one she was.
Also, I haven’t seen this anywhere else, so I thought I’d mention it here. Tyra Banks is holding out on us and I’m not sure why. This week, a representative from the Reciprocity Foundation (www.reciprocityfoundation.org – which does legitimately appear to do some good work) explained that three ‘homeless’ ‘young’ ‘women’ would join the modelettes for the shoot, eschewing their own usual street rags in favor of high-fashion looks while the modelettes themselves rocked out some fierce bag lady wear. While this seems like a cruel joke to pull on young women at such a low point in their lives, all was not as it appeared. What Tyrant didn’t tell us was that these young women weren’t, at that moment, either homeless or women. At least two of these ladies were transsexuals quite well-known on the Ballroom Circuit. Isis (the ‘girl’ who outshone Atalya in her shoot) is a member of the trannytastic House of Tsunami based in Philadelphia, while Anjelika, the first girl to introduce herself to the modelettes, is currently working her way up the drag pageant circuit here in NYC. Both of these girls were spotlighted for the MSNBC documentary ‘Born in the Wrong Body’ and have been written up several times in gay publications.
Now, while I have NO problem with their inclusion in this episode, doesn’t it seem odd that Tyra Banks, who seems to be completely unable to function unless she’s surrounded by the gayest gayness possible, wouldn’t either mention this as a way to fulfill her own per-episode queer quotient, or promote the LGBT side of this obviously do-gooder organization? The whole thing just sat sort of funky with me.
No more funky than anything else that happens on this show, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.
Also, Paulina Porizkova is the best thing to happen to ANTM since Janice. More on this later.
Well, Rami is in and Chris is auf. Having seen the final collections thanks to the geniuses over at Blogging Project Runway, I’m still a little disappointed that Chris’ collection won’t be shown on TV. I think there are several pieces that probably would’ve gone over very well in the tents, and as a Chris fan, I would have liked to have seen how they were received, however Rami was the right choice overall. His work, while repetitive, has been mostly consistent throughout the season, and when he steps out of his draping comfort zone, he produces some quality work (note the Hershey's and Levi's challenges for examples). He came into the competition a frontrunner and has finally taken his rightful place in the finals. Oh, and he wasn’t, y’know, already eliminated. Giant congrats to Chris March for all his work this season, though. He gave us some lovely looks, and the best laughs of the season. I can only hope I see him marching down Fifth Ave in a giant costume next Pride so I can accost him like the fan I am.
Christian and Jillian, the two designers given the automatic go-ahead for Fashion Week, showed their collections to Tim Gunn (who still, four seasons in, needs to call me! We’ll do drinks, Tim!). Christian’s feather pants (no, really... Feather. Pants.) were deemed to be costumey, though Jillian’s coat, with inspiration taken from the final artwork challenge, seemed to fare better. More inspiring to me? Jillian’s daring over-fuzzy winter wool sweater/navy summer short-shorts combo. More terrifying to me? Jillian’s serial-killer serious assertion that she will succeed… OR ELSE!
Now, all that’s left to do is crown Christian the winner so I can start screaming about how Jillian was robbed, and the season will end exactly as it should.
Make Me a Supermodel
Is anyone here as convinced as I am that Casey is a total queer and just not saying it on television?
I have no proof of this, myself, and it’s not like it would matter if I did. But every episode of this show that I watch, I become more and more convinced of three things: Perry is more of an ass than will ever be shown on television, people are only keeping Ben around to find out if he’ll make out with Ronnie, and Casey is really quite queenly. Admittedly, just a TINY bit of this might be wishful thinking, since I find his sensitivity and drama-free attitude both refreshing for a reality show and entirely charming, and I think he’s a stunning young man. I just wish he’d realize that there’s better guys to play butt-boy for than Perry who, for yet another week, needs to get off my TV set.
This week, the minimodels took to the slopes to capture motion shots. Perry and Ronnie had to look fierce while skiing (which, YAY, Perry sucked at, though, BOO, he ended up taking a great shot), Holly and Ben had to snowboard while drinking champagne (which she rocked, as usual, while he could only copy Jack Nicholson’s Joker rictus), and Frankie, Casey and Shannon had to… run around and play in the snow (which only Shannon was able to do without looking like a useless waste of space, apparently).
I’m personally psyched that this week sees three of the dudes up for elimination. With the girls dropping like flies, Shannon and Holly had to rally, and did, the former even suffering through a week in the hospital but managing to turn up the heat when necessary. Thankfully, the judges have realized that Frankie and Ben are living out their usefulness and, with any luck, one of them won’t be sticking around any longer.
American Idol
Oh, America, how could you? You deny me Alexandréa Lushington (she of the Coolest Name Ever) and make me suffer through more Kady Malloy another week? I think I like you as much as I like the Brits right now.
So, 70’s week brought us more middling performances from both boys and girls, with the only real standout (in whatever way you take that) being the Imagine performance by David Archuleta. Don’t start sending me hate mail, but I didn’t like it. Yes, he’s cute (well, in that way that puppies or babies are cute... allegedly), and a good singer for a 17 year old, but he oversang the song. Imagine is a plaintive song, asking for something simple. It's one step away from being a prayer. David made it an exercise in vocal gymnastics, which is de rigeur for Idol contestants, sure, but the ability to maneuver around a melody does NOT a good performance make. This is a case of his ‘cuteness’ (which I’m not swayed by) making up for other shortcomings, like over-styling. But, the tween-girl Idol audience isn’t really known for paying attention to that stuff when there’s the much more pressing ‘he’s so adorablee’ to pay attention to.
Also, Generic Blonde Alaina Whitaker (who?) was eliminated, leaving us to wonder who all those other Generic Blondes actually are, and how many more of them we have to knock off before it's down to just Ramiele Malubay and Carly Smithson.
America’s Next Top Model
You guys? I think Kim is my hero. In, like, a fabulous Charlotte Perrelli way. In a manner more clueless than Cycle 2 Julie telling Tyrant she wanted to be a fashion merchandiser and not a mannequin, Kim of the Gemma-Ward-Smushface stood up at panel and told La Ty-Ty that modeling was a soulless and stupid endeavor and then walked out. Okay, it might’ve taken more to get there (including statements like 'I just think it's stupid to pay that much for clothes' and 'I just wanted to learn how to take better pictures', which very obviously nearly caused an explosion of the Tyra's Head variety), but that was the gist of it. Tyra tried her usual “You know that there were other girls who would have sold their illegitimate children to be here” guilt routine, but Kim was having none of it, smilingly telling the Bankable One to get bent.
In other news, after a ‘socially conscious’ homeless-themed photoshoot, some girl named Atalya was sent home to bask in her obsurity. I guess it’s good that I never really bothered to notice which one she was.
Also, I haven’t seen this anywhere else, so I thought I’d mention it here. Tyra Banks is holding out on us and I’m not sure why. This week, a representative from the Reciprocity Foundation (www.reciprocityfoundation.org – which does legitimately appear to do some good work) explained that three ‘homeless’ ‘young’ ‘women’ would join the modelettes for the shoot, eschewing their own usual street rags in favor of high-fashion looks while the modelettes themselves rocked out some fierce bag lady wear. While this seems like a cruel joke to pull on young women at such a low point in their lives, all was not as it appeared. What Tyrant didn’t tell us was that these young women weren’t, at that moment, either homeless or women. At least two of these ladies were transsexuals quite well-known on the Ballroom Circuit. Isis (the ‘girl’ who outshone Atalya in her shoot) is a member of the trannytastic House of Tsunami based in Philadelphia, while Anjelika, the first girl to introduce herself to the modelettes, is currently working her way up the drag pageant circuit here in NYC. Both of these girls were spotlighted for the MSNBC documentary ‘Born in the Wrong Body’ and have been written up several times in gay publications.
Now, while I have NO problem with their inclusion in this episode, doesn’t it seem odd that Tyra Banks, who seems to be completely unable to function unless she’s surrounded by the gayest gayness possible, wouldn’t either mention this as a way to fulfill her own per-episode queer quotient, or promote the LGBT side of this obviously do-gooder organization? The whole thing just sat sort of funky with me.
No more funky than anything else that happens on this show, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.
Also, Paulina Porizkova is the best thing to happen to ANTM since Janice. More on this later.
NO 'NO ANGELS' (IT'S ALL IN MY MIND)
Germany’s will hold their Grand Prix Vorentscheid pre-selection broadcast this Friday night, and I have diligently given a listen to the entries so I can give you my opinions.
Tommy Reeve – Just One Woman
It’s a green eyed soul song. That’s all. It’s not bad, but it’s not Eurovision (not that that matters to the big-four Germans). By itself, I actually kind of don’t mind the song, and took a look at some of Tommy Reeve’s music just based on it. But there is no reason why this should be in Belgrade.
Carolin Fortinbacher – Hinterm Ozean
Now, this, on the other hand, is a kind of song I’m pre-disposed to liking. It’s an emotive ballad with a pretty melody which is, thankfully, not oversung. Carolin Fortinbacher seems to be, if not an especially powerful singer, one who has a respectable sense of nuance and styling. That said, again, this is the kind of song that now no longer performs well due to the excess of the modern Eurovision.
Cinema Bizarre – Forever or Never
This was a bit of a surprise. It’s sort of like a darker version of The Ark. The glam rock sound is on full display here, but the song isn’t bad. This is hard to picture as a ‘Eurovision Entry’, but based on the growing inclusion of proper rock acts in recent years of the contest, I wouldn’t count out these dark horses. It doesn’t hurt that they seem to have a decent-sized fanbase.
No Angels – Disappear
My pre-listen favorite, since I’m a No Angels fan from WAY back (Like, waaayyyyyy back. Like, minutes after they’d released their first CD), No Angels are, by all rights, just the kind of act that should go to the Contest. They’re sort of campy and cultish, they sing inoffensive well-produced bubblegum pop, they are capable of putting on a great live show. However, Disappear, while an excellent addition to their own repertoire, isn’t a strong enough entry to win here. Shame, as the fan in me would have REALLY liked to see them win.
Marquess – La Histeria
This is Germany’s winner, folks. And, to be fair, it’s a LOT of fun. It still strikes me funny that Germany would send a Spanish song to the Contest, but given their recent eclecticism when it cones to their entries (in the last few years we’ve had country songs, pop/rock songs, German lounge lizards…), I have a feeling that the catchiness of this song will take it to the winner’s circle.
So there you have it. We’ll see this Friday, March 6 if I’m right.
Tommy Reeve – Just One Woman
It’s a green eyed soul song. That’s all. It’s not bad, but it’s not Eurovision (not that that matters to the big-four Germans). By itself, I actually kind of don’t mind the song, and took a look at some of Tommy Reeve’s music just based on it. But there is no reason why this should be in Belgrade.
Carolin Fortinbacher – Hinterm Ozean
Now, this, on the other hand, is a kind of song I’m pre-disposed to liking. It’s an emotive ballad with a pretty melody which is, thankfully, not oversung. Carolin Fortinbacher seems to be, if not an especially powerful singer, one who has a respectable sense of nuance and styling. That said, again, this is the kind of song that now no longer performs well due to the excess of the modern Eurovision.
Cinema Bizarre – Forever or Never
This was a bit of a surprise. It’s sort of like a darker version of The Ark. The glam rock sound is on full display here, but the song isn’t bad. This is hard to picture as a ‘Eurovision Entry’, but based on the growing inclusion of proper rock acts in recent years of the contest, I wouldn’t count out these dark horses. It doesn’t hurt that they seem to have a decent-sized fanbase.
No Angels – Disappear
My pre-listen favorite, since I’m a No Angels fan from WAY back (Like, waaayyyyyy back. Like, minutes after they’d released their first CD), No Angels are, by all rights, just the kind of act that should go to the Contest. They’re sort of campy and cultish, they sing inoffensive well-produced bubblegum pop, they are capable of putting on a great live show. However, Disappear, while an excellent addition to their own repertoire, isn’t a strong enough entry to win here. Shame, as the fan in me would have REALLY liked to see them win.
Marquess – La Histeria
This is Germany’s winner, folks. And, to be fair, it’s a LOT of fun. It still strikes me funny that Germany would send a Spanish song to the Contest, but given their recent eclecticism when it cones to their entries (in the last few years we’ve had country songs, pop/rock songs, German lounge lizards…), I have a feeling that the catchiness of this song will take it to the winner’s circle.
So there you have it. We’ll see this Friday, March 6 if I’m right.
ONE MAN'S TRASH...
…is another man’s trashman!
So, the UK has screwed up again, choosing the disco affectations of Andy Abraham over the postastic goodness of LoveShy or the actual potential of The Revelations.
I wasn’t able to watch Eurovision: Your Decision, which is fine, since I’d just have been sitting there yelling at my monitor, but once again I wonder what the British voting public is thinking. I suppose, on its own merits, Even If isn’t the worst song out there. It’s probably not the worst song in the contest this year. Heck, it wasn’t even the worst of the UK’s choices. But it’s boring. And Andy Abraham is boring. Not as boring as Rob the Builder’s song would’ve been, granted, but that doesn’t make it a good entry.
And, while I love the Brits and usually hope for them to do well (last year’s Scooch placing was still too low for my liking), I can’t help but think ‘they picked this boob, let’s make ‘em pay!’
Finally, poor Emma and Aimee. They’re just doomed, aren’t they?
So, the UK has screwed up again, choosing the disco affectations of Andy Abraham over the postastic goodness of LoveShy or the actual potential of The Revelations.
I wasn’t able to watch Eurovision: Your Decision, which is fine, since I’d just have been sitting there yelling at my monitor, but once again I wonder what the British voting public is thinking. I suppose, on its own merits, Even If isn’t the worst song out there. It’s probably not the worst song in the contest this year. Heck, it wasn’t even the worst of the UK’s choices. But it’s boring. And Andy Abraham is boring. Not as boring as Rob the Builder’s song would’ve been, granted, but that doesn’t make it a good entry.
And, while I love the Brits and usually hope for them to do well (last year’s Scooch placing was still too low for my liking), I can’t help but think ‘they picked this boob, let’s make ‘em pay!’
Finally, poor Emma and Aimee. They’re just doomed, aren’t they?
ON HER STAGE SHE SINGS HER STORY… LIKE A QUEEN IN ALL HER GLORY
Well! That was a VERY exciting final heat, wasn’t it? From the camptasticness of Charlotte strutting around the stage in her sparkly disco frock to Linda’s highland hip-hop, from Sibel’s ‘express train’ to Diva-ville to the surprisingly captivating Nordman song, the final Melodifestivalen semi-final treated us to some great performances and gave us the schlager performances we’d been hoping for from both our leading ladies of the night.
Charlotte, of course, absolutely blew the crowd away with her slice of Kempedisco, complete with a glittery microphone that I make NO secret of wanting (my birthday is over the summer if anyone wants to start shopping now…). From top to bottom, this was the kind of performance that wins this contest. In fact, I daresay right now that we have our winner for this year. I’ll get to a more complete handicapping of the Andra Chansen and Finals later on in the week, but for now, this rests hands down in my top contenders spot.
Linda, as well, made a fantastic showing. She looked adorable. In fact, she looked like she was having a BALL, and most importantly, she HIT THE KEY CHANGE! It looks like she’s finally spent some time working on that because it was spot on. I’ll admit, going into the bridge I was white-knuckling my chair a bit, as I know that La Bengtzing’s relationship with modulations is spotty at best, but she nailed that “Hur svart kan det… vaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” just right, and you could hear the audience go wild.
And, while I think that Charlotte will probably walk away the winner of MF’08, I think Linda will place higher than her last two entries since she’s finally managed to learn to deliver a home-run performance, and she should be extremely proud of herself. (Also, did anyone watch the post-interview with Char and Linda? Linda making Char cry was a highlight for me. I don't care if the rumours were rampant that they didn't get along, that was a nice moment for both of them.)
I’m surprised to not include Daniel Mitsogiannis in this entry, but let’s face it, as great as Pame is on record, he was sort of painful to watch live… His song was overchoreographed, and as such, he was noticeably out of breath for chunks of it, he looked like he was starting to get very sloppy towards the end, and any statements I might have made about his ‘aesthetic appeal’ are taken back. Is it just me, or does his hair and unnatural rectangle-shaped head make him look like the love child of Martin Rolinski and Lurch from the Addams Family?
As for Sibel and Nordman… These were the right two picks for Andra Chansen, I think. Sibel was clawing her way up the Diva hierarchy with a vengeance, pulling out all the schlager clichés that put Sonja in the finals last year. Heartrending ballad? Check. Wind? Check. Flow-y chiffon princess dress? Check? That said, she was entirely deserving of moving on. The song itself was lovely (and, again, makes Empty Room look like an amateur attempt at songwriting) and her delivery was excellent, though I do wish she’d stop looking at the camera all ‘meaningfully’ like I’m convinced they teach contestants to do on Idol (“Look at the camera… Now tilt your head down, but keep staring into the lens. That’s called ‘eyefucking’ and it’s how you get votes!”).
Nordman… He was the surprise for me. First off, I know that some other people didn’t think this was a good entry into the contest, and, okay. Granted. But the performance was lovely. The dancer playing the witch-girl was great, and I liked that they didn’t get all literal and have her, like, dancing around on top of the fire. The visual imagery was just enough to be captivating, without going overboard into cheesy. As well, I’ve been singing that chorus all weekend. Nordman won’t win, especially against Carola and Andreas, but this is a song that won’t go anywhere for a while.
So, now it’s down to Andra Chansen. Like I said, I’ll handicap that later in the week, but for now, let’s just rest easy knowing that we can get to the real meat of this competition now!
Charlotte, of course, absolutely blew the crowd away with her slice of Kempedisco, complete with a glittery microphone that I make NO secret of wanting (my birthday is over the summer if anyone wants to start shopping now…). From top to bottom, this was the kind of performance that wins this contest. In fact, I daresay right now that we have our winner for this year. I’ll get to a more complete handicapping of the Andra Chansen and Finals later on in the week, but for now, this rests hands down in my top contenders spot.
Linda, as well, made a fantastic showing. She looked adorable. In fact, she looked like she was having a BALL, and most importantly, she HIT THE KEY CHANGE! It looks like she’s finally spent some time working on that because it was spot on. I’ll admit, going into the bridge I was white-knuckling my chair a bit, as I know that La Bengtzing’s relationship with modulations is spotty at best, but she nailed that “Hur svart kan det… vaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” just right, and you could hear the audience go wild.
And, while I think that Charlotte will probably walk away the winner of MF’08, I think Linda will place higher than her last two entries since she’s finally managed to learn to deliver a home-run performance, and she should be extremely proud of herself. (Also, did anyone watch the post-interview with Char and Linda? Linda making Char cry was a highlight for me. I don't care if the rumours were rampant that they didn't get along, that was a nice moment for both of them.)
I’m surprised to not include Daniel Mitsogiannis in this entry, but let’s face it, as great as Pame is on record, he was sort of painful to watch live… His song was overchoreographed, and as such, he was noticeably out of breath for chunks of it, he looked like he was starting to get very sloppy towards the end, and any statements I might have made about his ‘aesthetic appeal’ are taken back. Is it just me, or does his hair and unnatural rectangle-shaped head make him look like the love child of Martin Rolinski and Lurch from the Addams Family?
As for Sibel and Nordman… These were the right two picks for Andra Chansen, I think. Sibel was clawing her way up the Diva hierarchy with a vengeance, pulling out all the schlager clichés that put Sonja in the finals last year. Heartrending ballad? Check. Wind? Check. Flow-y chiffon princess dress? Check? That said, she was entirely deserving of moving on. The song itself was lovely (and, again, makes Empty Room look like an amateur attempt at songwriting) and her delivery was excellent, though I do wish she’d stop looking at the camera all ‘meaningfully’ like I’m convinced they teach contestants to do on Idol (“Look at the camera… Now tilt your head down, but keep staring into the lens. That’s called ‘eyefucking’ and it’s how you get votes!”).
Nordman… He was the surprise for me. First off, I know that some other people didn’t think this was a good entry into the contest, and, okay. Granted. But the performance was lovely. The dancer playing the witch-girl was great, and I liked that they didn’t get all literal and have her, like, dancing around on top of the fire. The visual imagery was just enough to be captivating, without going overboard into cheesy. As well, I’ve been singing that chorus all weekend. Nordman won’t win, especially against Carola and Andreas, but this is a song that won’t go anywhere for a while.
So, now it’s down to Andra Chansen. Like I said, I’ll handicap that later in the week, but for now, let’s just rest easy knowing that we can get to the real meat of this competition now!
Friday, February 29, 2008
NOT MUCH OF A COMPETITION
The Brits do pop music very well. They've given us some great artists over the years, but why talk about them when we have Eurovision: Your Decision instead?
I do sort of like the idea for the new tournament-style format in theory. Given the right entries, it could make for some interesting 'battles'. The problem is that the most of the songs on offer here aren't that great, so it seems like just another way to showcase the best of the worst. It's the usual lineup of C-listers with songs that are, for the most part, underwhelming. And, sadly, nothing as potentially entertaining to look forward to as Jordan's penis outfit from the 2005 show.
The only real battle is between the girl groups. Clea -- sorry, 'LoveShy' -- have one of the best pop songs of the year with Mr. Gorgeous, sounding equal parts Jamelia's Beware of the Dog and Rachel Stevens' Some Girls. It's the kind of track that should get all sorts of radio play and have the tar remixed out of it for the clubs. Okay, and it would be nice to see Emma and Aimee see some sort of career victory for once, right? They've suffered enough.
On the other side of the coin, there's The Revelations' breezy and delightful It's You, which has all the best parts of a 60's girl group number, plus the added benefit of sounding exactly like something the UK could have actually sent to Eurovision in the 60's. As well, The Revelations boasts a Swede, thus enhancing their Eurovision powers, like, tenfold. They maybe the newcomers here, but barring a disastrous performance, this is the song to beat.
Sadly, it looks like LoveShy are about to hit another career wall when The Revelations steal their thunder and take the stage in Belgrade.
I do sort of like the idea for the new tournament-style format in theory. Given the right entries, it could make for some interesting 'battles'. The problem is that the most of the songs on offer here aren't that great, so it seems like just another way to showcase the best of the worst. It's the usual lineup of C-listers with songs that are, for the most part, underwhelming. And, sadly, nothing as potentially entertaining to look forward to as Jordan's penis outfit from the 2005 show.
The only real battle is between the girl groups. Clea -- sorry, 'LoveShy' -- have one of the best pop songs of the year with Mr. Gorgeous, sounding equal parts Jamelia's Beware of the Dog and Rachel Stevens' Some Girls. It's the kind of track that should get all sorts of radio play and have the tar remixed out of it for the clubs. Okay, and it would be nice to see Emma and Aimee see some sort of career victory for once, right? They've suffered enough.
On the other side of the coin, there's The Revelations' breezy and delightful It's You, which has all the best parts of a 60's girl group number, plus the added benefit of sounding exactly like something the UK could have actually sent to Eurovision in the 60's. As well, The Revelations boasts a Swede, thus enhancing their Eurovision powers, like, tenfold. They maybe the newcomers here, but barring a disastrous performance, this is the song to beat.
Sadly, it looks like LoveShy are about to hit another career wall when The Revelations steal their thunder and take the stage in Belgrade.
EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN
Or, Sibel Redzep Is a Great Big Copycat
The proof...
(and I hope the Melodimen don't mind me pilfering their Sibel picture for evidential purposes...)
The proof...
(and I hope the Melodimen don't mind me pilfering their Sibel picture for evidential purposes...)
DELTAVLING 4: HEAT OF DEATH
My first Melodifestivalen post!! It's taken too long, but finally I'm ready to let loose on tomorrow's Final Semi-Final! Whoo!
The Entries:
FOR MÅNGA ORD OM KÄRLEK - Niklas Stromstedt
The Composers Say: An upbeat pop song with lyrics caught between love and pain, and featuring a chorus and verse sung in different keys.
I Say: The first thing that came to mind when I heard this was ‘This isn’t good… It sounds like the Monkees!’ It’s got a veeeeerrrrry 70’s flava to it that, while not altogether bad certainly doesn’t make it a good entry for this contest. Look for this Joker to be out in the first round.
IF I COULD – Calaisa
The Composers Say: A country pop ballad about losing someone close, and the will to do whatever it takes to get that person back.
I Say: Now, I like Calaisa. I do. But this is another case of a song not fitting into the competition. And not in a Marie Lindberg way where the song isn’t really ‘Melodifestivalen’, but wins over the public anyway. This just isn’t gonna go anywhere. Another bottom 3 finisher.
PAME – Daniel Mitsogiannis
The Composers Say: A Greece-inspired up-tempo song - Greek, hot and danceable.
I Say: Apparently Daniel did the Cara Mia demo… It’s obvious in hearing his voice. And this is a total Kempe/Ljunggren song. Dancey, catchy, killer hook into the chorus. As long as the performance itself isn’t over-performed (which it apparently is), this will absolutely do just fine. Andra Chansen, at least (definitely, if it's all overdone).
HU SVÅRT KAN D’VA – Linda Bengtzing
The Composers Say: Schlager* pop for 2008.
I Say: “LINDA DIREKT TILL FINALEN!!!!!” The bloggers have been hoping for this since she was announced into the competition, but this is absolutely the ditty to get her there again. Aside from a) the 'Grace Kelly'-esque schlagertasticness of the song, and b) the fact that she’s TOTALLY helped by the lack of Swedish songs in the final, this is just the kind of song that the voters will eat for dinner. It’s more guitar-ish than synth-y on the chorus, but it’s got the plinky-plunky bells and whistles behind that, it’s got a GREAT hook, and it’s my guess that Linda’s not going to have to worry about competing against Carola.
I LÅGORNAS SKEN – Nordman
The Composers Say: A pop song with nordic flavor about the witch trials of the 17th Century.
I Say: The witch trials? Well, it’s good to know that Nordman takes their family friendly audience into account. Cuz nothing says ‘schlager classic’ or ‘Eurovision winner’ to tween Swedes and international gay boys like ‘Let’s burn your daughters at the stake!’ That being said, I happen to think some of Nordman’s stuff is really catchy and cool to listen to. I don’t think this is a winner, but it should be a cool live song regardless, and one that lives on in the hearts of RIXFm for years to come.
THAT IS WHERE I’LL GO – Sibel
The Composers Say: A strong ballad, with a strong singing voice, about unconditional love.
I Say: Let’s get this right out of the way... As ballad’s go, this puts ‘Empty Room’ to shame. This is the kind of ballad that I like. Grand, dramatic, sweeping… The orchestration is lovely, and if Sibel can sing as well live as she does on the recording, this might actually be a contender, at the VERY least in Andra Chansen.
INGEN MÅR SÅ BRA SOM JAG – Fronda
The Composers Say: Upbeat party song about the everyday grind - stop stressing and enjoy the moment.
I Say: It’s got a fun little beat, and I sort of automatically give an extra listen to anything that features a good horn section, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to last past Saturday. It’s not anywhere near as strong as the good stuff from this round. Bottom 3.
HERO – Charlotte Perrelli
The Composers Say: A grandiose rock and dance song.
I Say: The bad news. I don’t think Hero is as strong an entry as Hu Svårt…, though it’s very good discopop. I know some bloggers have been all but jumping out of their skin over it, but I didn’t get as excited as others did. I didn’t even get as excited as I did about Déjà Vu. I DO like it, though. I think I was just expecting something more bombastic. Like, REALLY over the top… Ahh, well. The good news is that Charlotte is one of the best live singers in the entire competition, so look for her to put everyone else to shame when it comes to the live performance. And I remain sure that (and look forward to) my feelings on the song will change once I’ve seen Char belting out a crazy key change and serving up her general fabulousness.
The Thinkings:
So, it would seem that this round is really a two-trick pony. Char and Linda, Linda and Char. On first listen, these really are the strongest two entries into this round, and that’s only boosted by the celebrity of the two performers. Hur Svart… is schlager pop the way we want it, and Hero is a disco-stomper that’s likely to feature a great staging and a key change that will have Karlskrona on its feet. Plus, everyone’s seen Charlotte’s shoes by this point, right? Fierceness! With a capital Fierce!
Past those two, the next top two contenders would seem, at first listen, to be Daniel Mitsogiannis and Sibel. Sibel, as I’ve said before and on a couple of other blogs, still has the recent Idol voters at her disposal. I’m guessing that there’s a lot of audience crossover between the two shows (Idol and MF), which means that she still has a handy fanbase in place, which Daniel won’t have. As well, she has a very strong ballad (which, had it been given to Princess Sanna, could probably have walked away the winner of the whole shebang right there) and apparently the vocal ability to carry it off.
Daniel has two things going for him. One, he has a Kempe song, and those tend to do reasonably well in this contest. And two, he has… 'aesthetic appeal'. Now, he’s not MY type personally, but he’s got a nice smile and he’s attractive enough in that generic boypop way that that will work in his favor. And the song is fun. Plus, as yet, there isn’t a song with this sound in either the finals or Andra Chansen, so look for this to move on. My guess is Andra Chansen, but we shall see.
As for Nordman, they are possibly the fifth-wheel entry. He’ll be in the top 5 placement after the first round of votes, I just don’t know if his song can get through.
Calaisa, Niklas Stromstedt and Fronda will be out after the first round of votes, I think. Though, I thought both Christer Sjogren and Suzzie Tapper would be as well, so that just shows you what I know.
The Entries:
FOR MÅNGA ORD OM KÄRLEK - Niklas Stromstedt
The Composers Say: An upbeat pop song with lyrics caught between love and pain, and featuring a chorus and verse sung in different keys.
I Say: The first thing that came to mind when I heard this was ‘This isn’t good… It sounds like the Monkees!’ It’s got a veeeeerrrrry 70’s flava to it that, while not altogether bad certainly doesn’t make it a good entry for this contest. Look for this Joker to be out in the first round.
IF I COULD – Calaisa
The Composers Say: A country pop ballad about losing someone close, and the will to do whatever it takes to get that person back.
I Say: Now, I like Calaisa. I do. But this is another case of a song not fitting into the competition. And not in a Marie Lindberg way where the song isn’t really ‘Melodifestivalen’, but wins over the public anyway. This just isn’t gonna go anywhere. Another bottom 3 finisher.
PAME – Daniel Mitsogiannis
The Composers Say: A Greece-inspired up-tempo song - Greek, hot and danceable.
I Say: Apparently Daniel did the Cara Mia demo… It’s obvious in hearing his voice. And this is a total Kempe/Ljunggren song. Dancey, catchy, killer hook into the chorus. As long as the performance itself isn’t over-performed (which it apparently is), this will absolutely do just fine. Andra Chansen, at least (definitely, if it's all overdone).
HU SVÅRT KAN D’VA – Linda Bengtzing
The Composers Say: Schlager* pop for 2008.
I Say: “LINDA DIREKT TILL FINALEN!!!!!” The bloggers have been hoping for this since she was announced into the competition, but this is absolutely the ditty to get her there again. Aside from a) the 'Grace Kelly'-esque schlagertasticness of the song, and b) the fact that she’s TOTALLY helped by the lack of Swedish songs in the final, this is just the kind of song that the voters will eat for dinner. It’s more guitar-ish than synth-y on the chorus, but it’s got the plinky-plunky bells and whistles behind that, it’s got a GREAT hook, and it’s my guess that Linda’s not going to have to worry about competing against Carola.
I LÅGORNAS SKEN – Nordman
The Composers Say: A pop song with nordic flavor about the witch trials of the 17th Century.
I Say: The witch trials? Well, it’s good to know that Nordman takes their family friendly audience into account. Cuz nothing says ‘schlager classic’ or ‘Eurovision winner’ to tween Swedes and international gay boys like ‘Let’s burn your daughters at the stake!’ That being said, I happen to think some of Nordman’s stuff is really catchy and cool to listen to. I don’t think this is a winner, but it should be a cool live song regardless, and one that lives on in the hearts of RIXFm for years to come.
THAT IS WHERE I’LL GO – Sibel
The Composers Say: A strong ballad, with a strong singing voice, about unconditional love.
I Say: Let’s get this right out of the way... As ballad’s go, this puts ‘Empty Room’ to shame. This is the kind of ballad that I like. Grand, dramatic, sweeping… The orchestration is lovely, and if Sibel can sing as well live as she does on the recording, this might actually be a contender, at the VERY least in Andra Chansen.
INGEN MÅR SÅ BRA SOM JAG – Fronda
The Composers Say: Upbeat party song about the everyday grind - stop stressing and enjoy the moment.
I Say: It’s got a fun little beat, and I sort of automatically give an extra listen to anything that features a good horn section, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to last past Saturday. It’s not anywhere near as strong as the good stuff from this round. Bottom 3.
HERO – Charlotte Perrelli
The Composers Say: A grandiose rock and dance song.
I Say: The bad news. I don’t think Hero is as strong an entry as Hu Svårt…, though it’s very good discopop. I know some bloggers have been all but jumping out of their skin over it, but I didn’t get as excited as others did. I didn’t even get as excited as I did about Déjà Vu. I DO like it, though. I think I was just expecting something more bombastic. Like, REALLY over the top… Ahh, well. The good news is that Charlotte is one of the best live singers in the entire competition, so look for her to put everyone else to shame when it comes to the live performance. And I remain sure that (and look forward to) my feelings on the song will change once I’ve seen Char belting out a crazy key change and serving up her general fabulousness.
The Thinkings:
So, it would seem that this round is really a two-trick pony. Char and Linda, Linda and Char. On first listen, these really are the strongest two entries into this round, and that’s only boosted by the celebrity of the two performers. Hur Svart… is schlager pop the way we want it, and Hero is a disco-stomper that’s likely to feature a great staging and a key change that will have Karlskrona on its feet. Plus, everyone’s seen Charlotte’s shoes by this point, right? Fierceness! With a capital Fierce!
Past those two, the next top two contenders would seem, at first listen, to be Daniel Mitsogiannis and Sibel. Sibel, as I’ve said before and on a couple of other blogs, still has the recent Idol voters at her disposal. I’m guessing that there’s a lot of audience crossover between the two shows (Idol and MF), which means that she still has a handy fanbase in place, which Daniel won’t have. As well, she has a very strong ballad (which, had it been given to Princess Sanna, could probably have walked away the winner of the whole shebang right there) and apparently the vocal ability to carry it off.
Daniel has two things going for him. One, he has a Kempe song, and those tend to do reasonably well in this contest. And two, he has… 'aesthetic appeal'. Now, he’s not MY type personally, but he’s got a nice smile and he’s attractive enough in that generic boypop way that that will work in his favor. And the song is fun. Plus, as yet, there isn’t a song with this sound in either the finals or Andra Chansen, so look for this to move on. My guess is Andra Chansen, but we shall see.
As for Nordman, they are possibly the fifth-wheel entry. He’ll be in the top 5 placement after the first round of votes, I just don’t know if his song can get through.
Calaisa, Niklas Stromstedt and Fronda will be out after the first round of votes, I think. Though, I thought both Christer Sjogren and Suzzie Tapper would be as well, so that just shows you what I know.
I CAN NAME THAT TUNE IN...
I CAN NAME THAT TUNE IN…
Så Ska Det Låta… It’s apparently Name That Tune meets Don’t Forget The Lyrics meets some kind of weekly Swedish music jam. I still haven’t entirely figured out the point to it all, but from what I can tell, it’s really not much more than a reason for performers to get together and sing some stuff on TV. And there’s a bunch of people pretending there’s some kind of game show in there too, but that just seems like background noise to me.
Anyway, thanks to YouTube, here’s some highlights:
Dea Norberg – I Wanna Be Loved By You
Dea’s not really a huge star yet, though more and more I feel like she should be. She seems to have made a career out of playing second-fiddle to other singers… She’s appeared in the Melodifestivalen backing choir a few times, and filled in for the adorable Linda Bengtzing by appearing with Markoolio at several appearances throughout last year singing Värsta Schlagern, as well as several guest spots on other singers' material, but here she gets to show off her own chops, which are actually quite impressive. This might not be a big vocal powerhouse song, but her delivery earns an A from me. She's charming and I like her.
Linda Bengtzing – The Show Must Go On
Linda Sings Queen? Well, here’s a girl who’s got faith in her own abilities, I gotta say! To give credit where it’s due, though, Linda’s issues singing live seem to be limited to MF, cuz she sounds great here... even if she does have the scary stare of someone who is desperate to hold on to their fame. Calm down, Linda. We all love you already…
Sarah Dawn Finer & Daniel Lindström – Take These Broken Wings
Okay, so I have to get this out of the way. I’m borderline obsessed with SDF. Her MF performances just blew me away, her CD is absolutely lovely, and seeing her live was one of my live-concert-highlights of 2007. And, as such, I couldn’t not include this gem. The voices on these two are great together, and Putte (the accompanist) is adorable.
Shirley Clamp & Sonja Alden – For Kärlekens Skull
I can already hear the squeals of joy from the schlagerfans… “Shirley AND Sonja? SQUEEEEEEE!!!” And, y’all aren’t wrong. And, while I’m totally biased, since this is probably my favorite schlager ballad ever written, this is gorgeous. These two were made to sing together. Now let’s just hope they realize it and record more stuff together.
Sonja Alden – Songbird
Simply put, Sonja has one of the best natural voices on the planet. Effortless.
and, finally...
LaGaylia Frazier - Fields of Gold
I don't understand why American music listeners prefer the overdone r&b over-melismatic singers and maudlin college-FM rocker types to people like this... Okay, fine. I'm oversimplifying. I admit that. But it just seems to me that we don't pay enough attention to people like LaGaylia, truly gifted vocalists who don't need any tricks, just pure talent. That's all I have to say on the subject.
Så Ska Det Låta… It’s apparently Name That Tune meets Don’t Forget The Lyrics meets some kind of weekly Swedish music jam. I still haven’t entirely figured out the point to it all, but from what I can tell, it’s really not much more than a reason for performers to get together and sing some stuff on TV. And there’s a bunch of people pretending there’s some kind of game show in there too, but that just seems like background noise to me.
Anyway, thanks to YouTube, here’s some highlights:
Dea Norberg – I Wanna Be Loved By You
Dea’s not really a huge star yet, though more and more I feel like she should be. She seems to have made a career out of playing second-fiddle to other singers… She’s appeared in the Melodifestivalen backing choir a few times, and filled in for the adorable Linda Bengtzing by appearing with Markoolio at several appearances throughout last year singing Värsta Schlagern, as well as several guest spots on other singers' material, but here she gets to show off her own chops, which are actually quite impressive. This might not be a big vocal powerhouse song, but her delivery earns an A from me. She's charming and I like her.
Linda Bengtzing – The Show Must Go On
Linda Sings Queen? Well, here’s a girl who’s got faith in her own abilities, I gotta say! To give credit where it’s due, though, Linda’s issues singing live seem to be limited to MF, cuz she sounds great here... even if she does have the scary stare of someone who is desperate to hold on to their fame. Calm down, Linda. We all love you already…
Sarah Dawn Finer & Daniel Lindström – Take These Broken Wings
Okay, so I have to get this out of the way. I’m borderline obsessed with SDF. Her MF performances just blew me away, her CD is absolutely lovely, and seeing her live was one of my live-concert-highlights of 2007. And, as such, I couldn’t not include this gem. The voices on these two are great together, and Putte (the accompanist) is adorable.
Shirley Clamp & Sonja Alden – For Kärlekens Skull
I can already hear the squeals of joy from the schlagerfans… “Shirley AND Sonja? SQUEEEEEEE!!!” And, y’all aren’t wrong. And, while I’m totally biased, since this is probably my favorite schlager ballad ever written, this is gorgeous. These two were made to sing together. Now let’s just hope they realize it and record more stuff together.
Sonja Alden – Songbird
Simply put, Sonja has one of the best natural voices on the planet. Effortless.
and, finally...
LaGaylia Frazier - Fields of Gold
I don't understand why American music listeners prefer the overdone r&b over-melismatic singers and maudlin college-FM rocker types to people like this... Okay, fine. I'm oversimplifying. I admit that. But it just seems to me that we don't pay enough attention to people like LaGaylia, truly gifted vocalists who don't need any tricks, just pure talent. That's all I have to say on the subject.
YOU'RE A WONDER, WONDER WOMAN!
I know this one's been making the rounds of all the blogs, but I have to jump on the bandwagon. Can we all give it up for the camptastic fabulousness of one Miss Sandra Oxenryd, please?
Girl can saaaaaaaaaang!
I'm actually convinced she sounds like a young Carola Haggkvist...
Now, if anyone out there wants to be a love and get me a good mp3 version of this, you'd be my new favorite person.
I'm still disappointed in Poland's choice to send the Isis Gee snoozefest to Belgrade.
Girl can saaaaaaaaaang!
I'm actually convinced she sounds like a young Carola Haggkvist...
Now, if anyone out there wants to be a love and get me a good mp3 version of this, you'd be my new favorite person.
I'm still disappointed in Poland's choice to send the Isis Gee snoozefest to Belgrade.
BUSINESS IN THE FRONT, PAR-TAY IN THE BACK... SWEDE-STYLE!
Okay, before I start ripping into my pages of Melodifestivalen notes, I thought I'd start with something silly and light-hearted.
So, some quick backstory. I was tooling my way around Youtube not long ago, going through Swedish video upon Swedish video (Melodifestivalen fever, which I'm sure more than a few of you understand), and it struck me... The Swedes might like their schlager simple and to the point, but they seriously go ALL OUT when it comes to their hair.
So, for your viewing pleasure, I have scoured the deepest, darkest reaches of the internet (Okay, fine. I skimmed through youtube.) for some of the most insane-tastic hairdos and don’ts on offer. Some are MF entries, some are live TV performances… But they’re all good for a giggle.
Counting down...
13. Lena Philipsson – Dansa I Neon
I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently ‘Dansa I Neon’ is Svensk for ‘I want hair so big it can eat my head’. Well done, Lena. The folks at AquaNet salute you!
12. Lena Philipsson & Charlotte Perrelli – Flickorna på Småland
Where did Shirley Clamp’s schlager sensibility go, you ask? Why, it’s hidden in Charlotte’s hair! Along with Linda Bengtzing’s ability to sing a key change live, Sonja Alden’s retainer, Sandra Oxenryd’s Swedish career, Eva Dahlgren’s heterosexuality and Kikki’s sobriety. It’s the only explanation for why the ‘do is SO big (and why no one knows where those other things are anymore).
11. Lotta Engberg – Fyra Bugg & En Coca-Cola
I’m not actually going talking about Lotta here, cuz she’s just rocking the big-banged French braid (though honorable mention does go to the fuschia scarf holding it together). Instead, check out her backing singers. The girl at the 1:10 mark here is featuring not only the side ponytail (complete with day-glo schrunchie), but the morning-after bedhead too! Anonymous backing singer, your fearlessness has just earned you your moment in the spotlight.
10. Sanna Nielsen – Igår Idag
Dear Sanna. WHY aren’t you wearing enough bobbypins to keep your hair in place?! The ‘I just had sex on prom night’ walk of shame look is beneath you. You’re still super pretty, though, even if you look like a hot mess. Love, John.
9. Lena Philipsson – Om Igen
La PH does it again. Or, igen, I guess. Here she’s decided that she wants to add a little height. Wearing a pair of heels would’ve worked as well, Lena, but you rock out with that giant side ponytail. I TOTALLY take you more seriously because of it.
8. Ted Gardestad - Sattelit
Ted took the David Cassidy look up a notch with this gem of a ‘do. From the way his hair frames his face, to the way the long tresses in back swing over his shoulders, this is 70’s perfection... But, for a special treat, check out the announcer at the beginning. There’s a man who couldn’t be bothered to clean himself up this morning. Hippies represent!!
7. Shirley Clamp – Min Kärlek
Okay, I know you’re all thinking ‘What? Shirley? But she’s always so pretty!’ And you’re mostly right. Moreover, to give her some actual credit, after her MF appearance in 2003 in that awful black muumuu and blown-out hair, Shirl lost a bunch of weight, got herself a pretty red dye job and blew us all away with Min Kärlek. But, did anyone notice that she’s got enough gel in her hair here to style a whole summer stock cast of Grease? Seriously, her little ringlets are all chunked together and her hair is all shiny and matted. And not clean-and-conditioned shiny. It’s too-much-product shiny. And messy. And moreover, it doesn’t help that her dress could double as a cheap ice skating costume. All in all, this is just a look that could’ve been rethought.
6. Jill Johnsson & Charlotte Perelli – You Shook Me All Night Long (yup… that one)
If ever there was an argument in favor of bangs, it’s the fact that Charlotte’s hair is growing right out of the top of her skull. Of course, this could also be an argument against facelifts… Pick one and stick to it, Char.
5. Sound of Music – Alexandra
Sweden’s resident muppet, Nanne Grönvall, has always looked a bit questionable to me. I don’t usually agree with her attempts to emphasize her already Gollum-esque bobblehead, though I guess when your head is THAT disproportionate to the rest of your body, getting a little bouffant-y isn’t gonna make much of a difference… But -- *shocker!* -- she’s not the head-turner here… Instead, have a good chuckle at the oversized outrageousness of her co-singer, Angelique Widengren, who looks like RATT’s slightly less edgy little sister here. Notice how, at the :25 mark, she tries to touch her own head and her hand is forced back by the power of her hairspray forcefield!
4. The Blonde-Mophead Trifecta (Magnus Backlund, Ola Svensson & Danny Saucedo)
These guys… I tell you… Okay, so I think that what the deal probably is here is that there’s this one wig, right? And these three just keep swapping it off and making minor style changes before they wear it themselves so it looks like they each have their own hair. But they don’t. I picture it like, ‘Hej! Ola! Yeah, it’s Magnus. What’s goin’ on, huh? I know! Congrats on going to Andra Chansen. See though, if you’d kept the wig looking all mullet-y, they might have put you through to the finale like they did for me. Oh, speaking of, I’m gonna need the Hair tonight. I know you promised it to Danny, but he said I could take it as long as I washed it and got it to him in the morning. Yeah? That’s cool? Thanks, man!” There’s really no other explanation why three unrelated grown men should look this indistinguishable. Not to mention the hygiene issues that come with sharing accessories like that…
Magnus:
Ola:
Danny:
3. Anna Book – Det Finns En Morgondag
I present this gift to you not just for little 17-year old Anna’s Long-Island-Jewess-Granny hairdo, but for the entire styling och consulting MESS that allowed this poor teenager to look like Mike Myers as Linda Richman. No, really. Can’t you just see her looking at the camera and saying ‘Samba Sambero is about neither sambas nor samberos… discuss’? As well, above and beyond the clothes and the clown makeup and the pink claw fingernails, and, of course, the hair, the best thing about this video is that at about the 17-second mark, the piano player screws up the accompaniment in a big way and Anna catches it… and she gets very unhappy very quickly. Check out the hairy eyeball she gives the musicians. Cut a bitch, Anna. You’ve got the nails for it!
2. Style – Dover Calais
Okay, before we even discuss the hair-related insanity of this video, go right to the 2:03 mark and notice Gigi Hamilton give you some of the most 80’s-tastic bopping you’ll ever see. Her little turn at the end of the chorus is the epitome of 80’s camp and it couldn’t make me happier. Also making me happy? The way she is completely unable to tilt her head to the side, lest she tip right over. Oh, and spikey mullets! Which wouldn’t be so funny if it weren’t for the fact that ‘spikey mullet’ + ‘thinning hair’ = ‘angel halo’.
1. Anna-Lie Ryde & Bjorn Skifs – Smoke Gets In Your Eyes/Do You Wanna Dance (1982)
The crowning (heh, did you see what I did there?) glory of hair what-the-f*cks.,, If you close your eyes, this is an absolutely stunning performance to listen to. But if you watch it, I DARE you not to be catapulted into hysterics by the sight on Anna-Lie’s head. It’s a mullet! It’s a mullet that’s been feathered… ALL OVER! It’s a mullet that’s been feathered all over AND teased out! And dyed Rocky-Horror-Magenta! This is a woman who laughs in the face of… er… people who laugh at her, I guess.
So, some quick backstory. I was tooling my way around Youtube not long ago, going through Swedish video upon Swedish video (Melodifestivalen fever, which I'm sure more than a few of you understand), and it struck me... The Swedes might like their schlager simple and to the point, but they seriously go ALL OUT when it comes to their hair.
So, for your viewing pleasure, I have scoured the deepest, darkest reaches of the internet (Okay, fine. I skimmed through youtube.) for some of the most insane-tastic hairdos and don’ts on offer. Some are MF entries, some are live TV performances… But they’re all good for a giggle.
Counting down...
13. Lena Philipsson – Dansa I Neon
I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently ‘Dansa I Neon’ is Svensk for ‘I want hair so big it can eat my head’. Well done, Lena. The folks at AquaNet salute you!
12. Lena Philipsson & Charlotte Perrelli – Flickorna på Småland
Where did Shirley Clamp’s schlager sensibility go, you ask? Why, it’s hidden in Charlotte’s hair! Along with Linda Bengtzing’s ability to sing a key change live, Sonja Alden’s retainer, Sandra Oxenryd’s Swedish career, Eva Dahlgren’s heterosexuality and Kikki’s sobriety. It’s the only explanation for why the ‘do is SO big (and why no one knows where those other things are anymore).
11. Lotta Engberg – Fyra Bugg & En Coca-Cola
I’m not actually going talking about Lotta here, cuz she’s just rocking the big-banged French braid (though honorable mention does go to the fuschia scarf holding it together). Instead, check out her backing singers. The girl at the 1:10 mark here is featuring not only the side ponytail (complete with day-glo schrunchie), but the morning-after bedhead too! Anonymous backing singer, your fearlessness has just earned you your moment in the spotlight.
10. Sanna Nielsen – Igår Idag
Dear Sanna. WHY aren’t you wearing enough bobbypins to keep your hair in place?! The ‘I just had sex on prom night’ walk of shame look is beneath you. You’re still super pretty, though, even if you look like a hot mess. Love, John.
9. Lena Philipsson – Om Igen
La PH does it again. Or, igen, I guess. Here she’s decided that she wants to add a little height. Wearing a pair of heels would’ve worked as well, Lena, but you rock out with that giant side ponytail. I TOTALLY take you more seriously because of it.
8. Ted Gardestad - Sattelit
Ted took the David Cassidy look up a notch with this gem of a ‘do. From the way his hair frames his face, to the way the long tresses in back swing over his shoulders, this is 70’s perfection... But, for a special treat, check out the announcer at the beginning. There’s a man who couldn’t be bothered to clean himself up this morning. Hippies represent!!
7. Shirley Clamp – Min Kärlek
Okay, I know you’re all thinking ‘What? Shirley? But she’s always so pretty!’ And you’re mostly right. Moreover, to give her some actual credit, after her MF appearance in 2003 in that awful black muumuu and blown-out hair, Shirl lost a bunch of weight, got herself a pretty red dye job and blew us all away with Min Kärlek. But, did anyone notice that she’s got enough gel in her hair here to style a whole summer stock cast of Grease? Seriously, her little ringlets are all chunked together and her hair is all shiny and matted. And not clean-and-conditioned shiny. It’s too-much-product shiny. And messy. And moreover, it doesn’t help that her dress could double as a cheap ice skating costume. All in all, this is just a look that could’ve been rethought.
6. Jill Johnsson & Charlotte Perelli – You Shook Me All Night Long (yup… that one)
If ever there was an argument in favor of bangs, it’s the fact that Charlotte’s hair is growing right out of the top of her skull. Of course, this could also be an argument against facelifts… Pick one and stick to it, Char.
5. Sound of Music – Alexandra
Sweden’s resident muppet, Nanne Grönvall, has always looked a bit questionable to me. I don’t usually agree with her attempts to emphasize her already Gollum-esque bobblehead, though I guess when your head is THAT disproportionate to the rest of your body, getting a little bouffant-y isn’t gonna make much of a difference… But -- *shocker!* -- she’s not the head-turner here… Instead, have a good chuckle at the oversized outrageousness of her co-singer, Angelique Widengren, who looks like RATT’s slightly less edgy little sister here. Notice how, at the :25 mark, she tries to touch her own head and her hand is forced back by the power of her hairspray forcefield!
4. The Blonde-Mophead Trifecta (Magnus Backlund, Ola Svensson & Danny Saucedo)
These guys… I tell you… Okay, so I think that what the deal probably is here is that there’s this one wig, right? And these three just keep swapping it off and making minor style changes before they wear it themselves so it looks like they each have their own hair. But they don’t. I picture it like, ‘Hej! Ola! Yeah, it’s Magnus. What’s goin’ on, huh? I know! Congrats on going to Andra Chansen. See though, if you’d kept the wig looking all mullet-y, they might have put you through to the finale like they did for me. Oh, speaking of, I’m gonna need the Hair tonight. I know you promised it to Danny, but he said I could take it as long as I washed it and got it to him in the morning. Yeah? That’s cool? Thanks, man!” There’s really no other explanation why three unrelated grown men should look this indistinguishable. Not to mention the hygiene issues that come with sharing accessories like that…
Magnus:
Ola:
Danny:
3. Anna Book – Det Finns En Morgondag
I present this gift to you not just for little 17-year old Anna’s Long-Island-Jewess-Granny hairdo, but for the entire styling och consulting MESS that allowed this poor teenager to look like Mike Myers as Linda Richman. No, really. Can’t you just see her looking at the camera and saying ‘Samba Sambero is about neither sambas nor samberos… discuss’? As well, above and beyond the clothes and the clown makeup and the pink claw fingernails, and, of course, the hair, the best thing about this video is that at about the 17-second mark, the piano player screws up the accompaniment in a big way and Anna catches it… and she gets very unhappy very quickly. Check out the hairy eyeball she gives the musicians. Cut a bitch, Anna. You’ve got the nails for it!
2. Style – Dover Calais
Okay, before we even discuss the hair-related insanity of this video, go right to the 2:03 mark and notice Gigi Hamilton give you some of the most 80’s-tastic bopping you’ll ever see. Her little turn at the end of the chorus is the epitome of 80’s camp and it couldn’t make me happier. Also making me happy? The way she is completely unable to tilt her head to the side, lest she tip right over. Oh, and spikey mullets! Which wouldn’t be so funny if it weren’t for the fact that ‘spikey mullet’ + ‘thinning hair’ = ‘angel halo’.
1. Anna-Lie Ryde & Bjorn Skifs – Smoke Gets In Your Eyes/Do You Wanna Dance (1982)
The crowning (heh, did you see what I did there?) glory of hair what-the-f*cks.,, If you close your eyes, this is an absolutely stunning performance to listen to. But if you watch it, I DARE you not to be catapulted into hysterics by the sight on Anna-Lie’s head. It’s a mullet! It’s a mullet that’s been feathered… ALL OVER! It’s a mullet that’s been feathered all over AND teased out! And dyed Rocky-Horror-Magenta! This is a woman who laughs in the face of… er… people who laugh at her, I guess.
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